Last Post of 2012!

Well, it turns out that having a baby is fairly time-consuming, hence the blog posts are getting fewer and farther in between. So we’ll start with a little update.

All is well here; we left Pavia the 22nd and came to Treviso to stay with Paolo’s family until we leave for the US. It’s nice to be in a house, and have people to help (which they love to do!). Alessandro has had a few milestones in the past week: his first Christmas, his first trip to the beach, and his first bath in his little tub (cord finally fell off!). He is getting much better at holding his head up, and looks to be getting close to smiling for real. His schedule is still completely erratic, but on days where he doesn’t sleep too much during the day, he does decently at night (as in, wakes up every 2-3 hours, but goes back to sleep).  The couple of days where he’s slept all day have resulted in miserable nights, but we’re working on it. He still loves to be awake, and is very alert and quite pleasant at times. He loves to be around people, and to be held; luckily, there’s no shortage of people who want to hold him and respond to his every grunt. He eats like a little pig, and is around 10 pounds now, still mostly in his cheeks!

I’m also doing much better, almost completely recovered. I over-exerted myself a couple days ago, so now I’m having to take it easy; but other than that, I feel infinitely better than a couple weeks ago. I’ve lost all of my pregnancy weight except for about 3 pounds (I don’t really know my exact pre-pregnancy weight). It does however, seem like my body has re-situated itself.. some of it is fine with me (the girls look better than ever haha!), but things like my thighs have gotta go.  Anyways, most days, I get either a nap, or Paolo takes Ale in the morning so I can sleep for a bit without worrying. I’ve started pumping a bit, and he takes a bottle perfectly, so that frees me up a bit (being an on-demand cow was taking its toll). Since we’re with Paolo’s family, I really can’t complain; my main job is taking care of Alessandro and healing, so that’s ideal.

So all is well, and it’s almost time to come home! I do have two confessions though, despite how well things are going:

1. I’m so tired. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that everything is going perfectly, but in reality, no matter how much worse it could be, motherhood is exhausting. So far, it’s been both physically and mentally exhausting. My body is tired and still healing, and I basically never get the 8 hours of sleep my body requires to be content. Almost every time I start to take time for me to do something that I want to do (ex. writing this blog), Alessandro wakes up and requires my attention. I knew motherhood meant becoming more selfless, but really? I looked at my legs a couple days ago for the first time in forever and laughed thinking about how worried I was that my legs would be hairy when I gave birth. I had no idea. But despite my hairy legs and sleepless nights, I love that little guy more every day.

2. I’m really homesick. Don’t get me wrong, despite all my critiques of Italy, I’ve enjoyed my time here. I don’t regret coming, but I’m ready to come home. I miss my family, my friends, familiarity with places, and sweet tea. I’m ready for everyone to meet Alessandro. I also know that with returning home, I have to be separated from Paolo for a bit (6 months), but at least he’ll be in San Francisco and not Italy. It feels a lot closer. And after some time in the US, maybe he’ll understand me more.  Anyways, I’ve missed home for a while, but after Alessandro’s arrival, I’m really, really ready. 16 more days!

Well, I’m going to wrap up this post, since I never really know how much time I have. I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year’s, no matter where you are in this world!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Two Weeks into this Journey

I made it past the two week hurdle! Everyone says that’s the hardest part, right? In reality, it hasn’t been terrible. However, it hasn’t been what I expected, that’s for sure. Apparently, no matter how much you read or learn about babies, there’s always a surprise. So here’s my list of unexpecteds:

1. My recovery period. This was my biggest surprise. I don’t know how I thought I was going to get this abnormally large-headed baby out of me without my body noticing, but for whatever reason, I totally underestimated this part. I thought by the time I left the hospital, everything would be perfect. WRONG. When I left after 3 days, I was still moving about the speed of a turtle, and groaning with every movement I made. Let’s not even discuss sitting. It didn’t help that most of the women there at the same time as me had c-sections, and were practically running compared to me, despite being 20 years older. Yes, I was by far the youngest person there. You would not believe how old some of the women in that maternity ward were. Anyways, the recovery has not been fun. Thank God Paolo’s mom came for the week after I left the hospital to help. We wouldn’t have made it without her, seriously. By the Monday after (5 days post-partum), I was finally seeing improvement, but it was then thwarted by the visit to the embassy, which required far more walking and movement than I should’ve been doing. Once again, didn’t really plan for a recovery period. So that set me back a few days. Finally, by this past Monday, I’d made more progress, and am able to move around a bit without wanting to die.

2. There is so much poop. I mean, I knew babies pooped a lot, but really? He eats, and then poops 10 minutes later. And he eats a lot. We had about 100 disposable diapers, which he used in less than 10 days, then we switched to cloth diapers. They aren’t quite as convenient, but at that rate, it’s just throwing money away. Especially when he pees/poops as we’re changing the diaper.

3. The erratic sleep schedule. I mean, of course I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping a ton, but I thought newborns slept 16-18 hours a day. Who are these babies that make the average? Not mine, that’s for sure. He sleeps maybe 12 hours, on a good day. And it’s incredibly inconsistent. As in, he sleeps all day and none at night, or vice versa. And he’s not much of a napper. Unless I’m holding him. If he’s being held, he’ll sleep like an angel. At night also, which can be quite tempting when you’re sleep deprived. I let him sleep next to me the first week, but the past few days, he’s been sleeping in his bed.. at least until I inevitably fall asleep while feeding him. He’s sneaky!

4. The abundance of feedings. I read it would be about 8 times a day. Alessandro eats about 12 times a day. At least. He doesn’t let more than 2 hours pass without eating, sometime less. That’s a lot of time spent feeding a baby.  I’m starting to feel like a cow.

5. Being over-protective. I told myself I wouldn’t be that parent, but I am. I don’t want dirty people touching my baby, or kissing him. There’s not a lot I can say or do about it without being rude, but I cringe every time it happens. I mean, I don’t mind clean people touching him, but the neighbor who smokes like a chimney and has long, nasty fingernails? There’s no polite way to tell someone to stand 10 feet away at all times..

6. How many noises babies make. Alessandro is constantly making noise. Cooing, grunting, crying, snoring, etc. The first couple days, we rushed to his side every time we heard anything from him. But we quickly figured out the code to his noises, so now I know lots of grunts mean to get the diaper changing stuff ready, or that coos mean to leave him alone, he’s finally happy!

7. The preparation to go ANYWHERE. To go anywhere, I have to: 1. Make sure the diaper bag is properly packed. 2. Make sure Ale is freshly changed and fed. 3. Put on his snowsuit. 4. Put him in the carseat/stroller. And that’s just for him.

8. Losing pregnancy weight is not nearly as bad as everyone says. That is, if you didn’t go all Jessica Simpson and gain 65 pounds. I haven’t actually weighed myself since giving birth, but it has really amazed me how much my body has changed in the last two weeks. Immediately after giving birth, there was all this ever-so-attractive skin just hanging on my stomach. A week later, that was cut in half. This week, it’s just a little pooch. That’s not to say that I’m ready for bikini season, but it sure is nice to look in the mirror and not see this huge person anymore.

9. Motherhood is messy. Poop, pee, spit-up, the list goes on. However, childbirth was good preparation for this. After that experience, not much grosses me out anymore.  But I never thought I would get poop on my fingers during a change and then forget to wash it off after.

10. How quickly I turned into “THAT mom”. You know, the one who always posts pictures of her kids on facebook, or can’t talk about anything else. Granted, it’s all new now, so I’m going to do my best to not turn into a soccer mom. Seriously though, my baby is super cute, so everyone wants to see him, right? 

Anyways, it has definitely been a time of learning for us. We’re adjusting though, and it’s so much fun to get to know Ale, even when he doesn’t let me sleep. Which for the record, last night he slept 5 hours in a row; I was so happy I could’ve cried! He’s growing so much already; it’s crazy! He’s still got the newborn look, but he somehow looks like he understands things sometimes, and I can tell the newborn stage will be gone soon. Which is why I finally took his newborn pictures today. I had to do them myself since that is apparently not really done here, so that’s why I waited so long. Like I said, the recovery was more than I was expecting, and I wasn’t really up to photos the first week like I’d planned on. So we had a little shoot this afternoon, and let me just tell you, newborns are not easy clients. First of all, I couldn’t get him to go into that deep, coma-like sleep. Then he peed as soon as I took his diaper off. And then he realized he was naked and cold and screamed. So it was a short shoot. But I got a couple decent ones! I haven’t edited much yet, but here’s the best so far..

 

 Ciao for now,

Kathleen

The Birth of Alessandro

As you probably know or realized by the length between posts, Alessandro is here!! He was born December 5 at 7:23 AM, and is very happy and healthy!  After just 8 days, the memory of all that happened that day is already starting to fade, so I wanted to take the opportunity to tell the eventful story of his birth.  Just as a warning, childbirth is a messy thing; so if you don’t want details, don’t read!

It started the morning of December 4, at my daily doctor’s appointment. As you may have read in the last post, my fluid levels were dropping, and that day they had dropped to just 30 ml, so they told me I had to be induced. Like that day. I panicked a bit at first, but then persuaded them to let me go home, shower, eat, and finish packing last minute things. So fast forward to that afternoon. Around 4, they inserted my IV thing into my arm, which at the time, seemed like pain. I had no idea. At 5:30 they induced me via swab of prostaglandin on my cervix. They seemed skeptical that it would even work, and told me it would take at least 24 hours. I had to spend that night in the hospital, in the maternity ward, which is separate from the labor and delivery area. Paolo was not allowed to stay, as fathers can only come between 11 AM and 9 PM here. Also, here there are two people in each room. My roommate happened to be a 36 week pregnant woman who was hospitalized for severe vomiting after eating too much McDonald’s.  So that was pleasant.

Anyways, around 10 pm, I started having contractions. They monitored me for a while and said everything was fine. I was only dilated 1 cm. 30 minutes later, I was having intense contractions, so I called them back. They monitored me again for longer, and still nothing. This went on and on until I was finally 2 cm, then 3. Then finally around 1:00 AM, my water broke. I thought for sure then they would move me to the labor room, and give me the dang epidural. Nope. Also, though I was begging, they wouldn’t let me call Paolo to come there. So I labored alone, until about 3:30 when they finally let me call him. I was finally dilated to the magical 4 cm. It took a while from then to actually admit me to the labor area (which I had to walk to btw, and it wasn’t that close). My contractions were one after the other and incredibly intense. Apparently, the prostaglandin had overreacted on me, and I had more contractions than a normal person would. Lovely. By the time Paolo got there, I literally could not see straight and was about to pass out. But as I’m learning more and more each day, the human body is capable of amazing things.

So I finally moved to the labor room, and when I got there I was experiencing the overwhelming urge to push, which I had been strictly instructed not to do. It was horrible. I can’t even explain what it feels like to have your body adamantly tell you what to do and have to refuse it. And at that point, the feeling of any slight bit of caring what anyone thought of me left, and things got messy. I won’t go into detail, but I did not have the glamourous birth experience some people seem to have where my makeup was intact and my hair fluffy. I was gross. Sweat was the least of my problems. Anyways, the doctor came in, and I begged for epidural. So he checked me and told me that I was fully dilated and if I needed to push, go for it. It was unbelievable! I went from 4 cm to 10 in no time at all. He said at that point it was stupid to take an epidural because it would slow things down and make pushing harder. So yes, I gave birth au natural. At that point, I didn’t care. Also, if anyone was wondering, for future reference, he told me that laboring on your back is the most painful way to do it. Sorry if it’s TMI, but if I can help someone else, getting on all fours on your bed is the way to go. Seriously, try it. Once he told me I could push, I was so relieved. That meant it was almost over, and I didn’t care about epidural. I didn’t think anything could be worse than what I already experienced. And in my case, I was right.

So fast-forward, I pushed for around 45 minutes, partly in the labor room, partly in the delivery room (a room with a big, scary chair in the middle and lots of operating equipment everywhere). Just when I thought I couldn’t do any more, I felt this burst of pain, and simultaneously, energy, and Alessandro made his way into the world. It was amazing, really. I am in total amazement and awe over how perfectly the human body was created and how everything comes together perfectly in the childbirth process. To be honest, crowning was not the worst part of the pain; to me it meant relief and a baby was here.

The moment he came out was surreal to me; I was utterly exhausted, but when they placed him in my arms, I became so aware of this tiny little stranger that suddenly felt so familiar. Even now, 8 days later, I am still in awe of him. Sometimes I can’t help just staring at him, wondering at the perfection of God’s creation.


Anyways, everything after that was downhill, the placenta came out, blah blah, his head was huge, so I required some stitches, which are now the bane of my existence. The first thing the doctor said when he came out was that his head was huge. Duh, I just pushed him out of me, I know better than anyone. He was a perfect 7 lbs, 14 oz, 19.3 cm, at 7:23 AM.

When he was cleaned and dressed, and I was able to leave the delivery room, the 3 of us got to spend some time together, which was really sweet. Paolo held his baby for the first time, which was also the first time he held a baby. Alessandro took to nursing immediately, making my life immensely easier. He was so alert and awake the first day, not at all what I was expecting. After everything, I can say that it was all worth it, we are now the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

When No News Ceases to be Good News

Don’t get excited; I’m still pregnant. With no end in sight, it seems. Apparently my womb is just so darn hospitable that Alessandro wants to spend a 10th month in there. I have tried evicting him, but he’s not into it. I mean, I actually give him pep talks on the daily about how much more room he would have to move, and things like this. And I get nothing. Bleh.

Now that I’m actually really over my due date, I feel I have the right to complain. If I saw progress occurring, maybe I would feel better, but literally nothing has changed. I haven’t had strong contractions in a couple weeks, I feel basically the same as I did two weeks ago. Except maybe more tired now. I went to the doctor Friday for a visit, and of course, they just did fetal monitoring. They’re really into that here. In fact, until today, it’s the only thing they’ve done to me since 35 weeks. Lovely. I know the baby’s heart is beating, I can feel him move. I want to know if any progress is being made. But I’m asking too much it seems.

Anyways, today I finally got more monitoring, but also an ultrasound. My amniotic fluid levels are getting low, so they’re finally putting some urgency on the issue at hand. I really was starting to think they would just let me be pregnant forever here. But now, I have to go back again tomorrow for more of the same, plus a membrane sweep. I’m hoping against all hope that kick-starts things, because I really don’t want to be induced. I can’t explain why; I just feel like a scheduled delivery is so unnatural for a process that’s supposed to be natural. I know it may have to happen; in fact they told me that next Sunday was the absolute latest I could wait. I’m going to ask tomorrow if they can move that to Friday, simply because we have an appointment at the US embassy on the following Wednesday which we really need to make in order to get Alessandro’s US citizenship, plus all the other paperwork that needs to be done. Dual citizenship ain’t easy.

Sorry to not really have anything more interesting to talk about, but this is kind of dominating my thoughts right now, and since people were asking, it seemed like an update was in order. So, how am I doing? I’m tired, uncomfortable, slightly in pain, and terribly impatient; but I’m fine. And so is Baby. He’s just a little too comfortable. 

So here’s hoping that for real my next post is on the other side of things. If you have time, say a little prayer that Alessandro gets a move on; Momma’s over this.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

If you couldn’t guess, yes, I am still pregnant. 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant, to be exact. I know it’s not actually even my due date yet, but I’m mad at the doctor for getting my hopes up and telling me it would probably be early. I need him to come this week both for my sanity, and because of the extensive amount of paperwork a dual citizen baby requires, including our appointment at the American embassy on December 12. So Alessandro, please hurry!!

Once again, not a lot going on here. It’s gotten to the point in the year in Italy where it always looks like it’s going to rain, if it’s not actually raining, and is apparently cold, although one benefit of being pregnant is that cold means nothing to me. In a way, I’m glad the weather is this way; if it was beautiful out, I would feel worse about not really being able to enjoy it. But I’m still going a bit stir-crazy. I did go out yesterday with Paolo, and discovered that the Christmas markets have started in the city center, so that was really cute and cozy. Outdoor markets are one thing that never cease to enthrall me, and I wish we had more of them in the US! Somehow it’s much easier to empty your pockets when you’re outside enjoying a hot cinnamon roll, strolling from booth to booth.

Anyways, I kept meaning to write about this magical product that I found here in Italy, but haven’t yet, so here we go. The product is an epilator, and its purpose is hair removal. I’ve heard of an epilator before, but didn’t actually know what it was; now I can’t understand why it’s not more popular in the US. It’s basically an electronic device that has a roll-top with multiple tweezers. Mine has 40 tweezers, actually. It pulls the hair out by the root, essentially like tweezers, but much faster than tweezing your hairs one by one. Which I know, sounds very painful. It does hurt the first couple times, especially in sensitive areas, like behind the knees or the ankles, but it’s just a slight sting. When used properly, you only have to do it once every 2-4 weeks, depending on how fast your hair grows. I’ve had to do it more lately, because I have this irrational fear of going into labor when I have visible leg hairs, and let’s face it, I can’t even see part of my legs at this point, no matter how much I twist and turn. But seriously, every girl should get one! It’s so nice not to think about shaving, and so much more economical than waxing. Mine cost about 50 euros ($65), and is supposed to last for 5 years. Even if you use cheap disposable razors, over 5 years, an epilator is cheaper! Here’s a link to the one I have; I highly recommend it!
http://www.amazon.com/Braun-SE-5280-Epilator-Glove/dp/B004QI8UJK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353937036&sr=8-1&keywords=silk+epil+5

And also, here is my recipe of the week, which I mentioned in my last post. 

Molten Chocolate Cake

3 eggs
1 stick butter
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1 tsp vanilla
powdered sugar



Preheat oven to 350 degrees, grease a round cake pan. Melt the butter in a sauce pan, and stir in the other ingredients, making sure to turn off the heat before adding the eggs, or they will scramble. Mix well, pour into cake pan, and bake for 25-40 minutes. The cake should still be quite sticky in the middle when it’s done. Wait for the cake to cool completely before trying to remove it from the pan, as once again, it will be gooey. Dust with powdered sugar, and enjoy!!!!

That’s all I got for now, keep your fingers crossed that Alessandro decides to make his grand entrance soon!! I’m going to make Paolo fat if I keep having so much time to bake!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Surprise Party Fail

Still pregnant, guys. I am so over this already. At least Friday I finally have a doctor’s appointment. They don’t do the appointment every week thing here after 35 weeks, so I haven’t had one since then. Maybe they’ll have good news for me (at least some sign of progress would be nice). So there’s really not much going on these days. I don’t ever really feel like going out, especially by myself, so it’s almost the same as bed rest.. but you have to remember that it’s different here than the US. At home, to go to the store or whatnot, I can get in my car and just go. That’s not the case here. Just to go to class, I have to walk to the bus stop, wait for the bus, stand on the bus because of course no one gives a 9 months pregnant woman their seat, and then walk to class. Then sit in a wooden chair for 1 1/2 hours in a small, crowded room full of people who just don’t shower often enough. This is all well and good for a normal person, but at this point, I’m in a really “try-later” type of mood. My back is breaking, stomach stretched beyond imagination, and brain slowly shutting down; Italian class has been moved to the back burner. However, I did have a busy day yesterday that I’m suffering for today, so here’s a funny story to lighten the mood.

Next week (November 29) is Paolo’s birthday. I wanted to celebrate it in some way since most likely next week will be baby chaos (I hope at least), and I didn’t want his birthday to get lost in all the madness. So I collaborated with a couple of his friends, and we decided to have a nice dinner last night with some of our friends. Oh, and it was going to be a surprise, which is where the strategy had to come in. Yesterday was the perfect day since he was in Milan all day getting his American visa, and then had basketball practice at night. That way, I could prepare everything and clean without him being suspicious. Yes, he would be suspicious if I cleaned extra (no nesting here). So ANYWAYS. We had this grand plan, and I set about my day. I knew it would be stressful, because it was a lot to do in one day, especially in my present lazy state.

First of all, I must tell everyone that I am a horrible liar. I mean, I can’t keep a secret, so don’t even try. I crumble immediately under questioning. That being said, maybe a surprise party wasn’t the correct choice. But I tried, really. However... I went to the grocery store to get all the things I needed. Paolo has a car, but I can’t use it because I don’t have a license here, and also it’s a manual, which I tried once, and never again. So the bus was my only option. Once again, the bus is completely manageable up until about 37 weeks pregnant, when both your tolerance and energy take a nose dive. But I did it. It took me almost an hour and a half to get everything (because I’m moving like a snail), and then I left the store. This is where things went wrong. I usually go to a different bus stop, because the one closest to the grocery store is super crowded. But my bag was really heavy, so I opted for the close one. I called Paolo on my way there to see where he was. I expected him to be back in Pavia at his class by then, but he was still on the train back. I told him that I just finished my class and was heading home. He told me he was close, so I started to wonder if I should move, because my bus stop was by the train station, but thought, “nah, surely I wouldn’t run into him..”, because I NEVER HAVE. I got paranoid and started looking around at the entrance to the train station, and just as I turned back around, who should I make eye contact with? Of course, it was Paolo. He looked baffled, because I should’ve been on the other side of town, without grocery bags, etc. So I just stammered for a few minutes, then of course the whole story came out. Later, I realized I could’ve made something up and he would’ve believed me, but like I said, lying is not my strong point. So no surprise party. But we still had a lovely dinner with friends, so that was the important part. If you’re wondering our menu was:
1. Bruschetta
2. Pumpkin Risotto
3. Rosemary pork chops with green beans
4. Molten chocolate cake

And yes, it was all quite delicious, if I do say so myself. Today, I’m exhausted, however.

So the lesson learned is: Don’t count on me to plan a surprise party. A party, yes, there’s nothing I love more than organizing parties (and trips), but I can’t guarantee keeping a surprise.

Maybe next time I’ll have a baby? Not counting on it, at this point. But I do now have a ticket back to the US! yay!!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

In Nine Months I've Learned...

Here are some nuggets of wisdom I’ve learned in the past few months that I found worth sharing:

1. Everyone has opinions and once you’re pregnant, they want to share them more than ever. This goes for basically everything related to pregnancy. People all around the world will give you parenting tips, lifestyle tips, etc., so be prepared. Some decisions you just have to suck up and make on your own, though. Were people right that moving to a new country at this point would be hard? Yes. Do I miss my family and friends more than they know? Yes. But I also don’t regret my decision. I did what I thought was best for me and my child, and though it is sometimes hard, I still think it is the best choice I could’ve made.

2. Priorities change.  I used to spend most of my money either on travel or my wardrobe. That has changed A LOT. Since being in Italy (the Mecca of the shopping world, mind you), I have not bought any shoes, except house shoes. How disappointing. Instead, I’ve bought baby clothes and things like diapers, a breast pump, and other weird things I would’ve never thought about buying.  But it goes deeper than just finances.. now, with every decision I make, I have to think about this other small person in my life. When I consider where to live, I have to think about schools; when I think about a trip I’d like to go on, I have to think about kid friendly activities in said place. Even when selecting a flight back to the US, there are a ridiculous number of things to consider when including baby, like baggage allowance, priority boarding, etc. No more just selecting the cheapest option.

3.The first step to being a good father is to be good to the mother. Since I’ve known Paolo, I’ve seen him grow from a boy into a man. He is far more mature than most of the guys I see here, and I’m so proud of him (he usually doesn’t read my blog, so I can say what I want). After he found out we were having a baby, he sped up his studies and finished his bachelor’s degree a semester early, as well as getting a job. He’s now working on his master’s degree, and making great progress. He’s helped me with everything in the past few months, from getting a permit to stay to going to childbirth classes with me.  I think for guys in general, pregnancy is a strange thing, because they can’t really do much besides watch. But what they can do is take care of Mom, and Paolo has done an excellent job of that. I’m so grateful to have him by my side, and can’t wait to see him with little Alessandro.

4. Complete strangers will feel comfortable saying ANYTHING to you while pregnant. Seriously. I don’t know why this is; do I have a sign on my forehead that says, “Go ahead, I can take it”? I mean, you have the usual things, like “How far along are you?”, or “Boy or girl?”, but then you have things like questions about how much you weigh, followed by detailed descriptions of how much they gained while pregnant, as well as any complications that they had. Or my personal favorite, there’s always their “friend” that went into labor in the car, or some other ridiculous story that they probably heard on TV. My response to the last woman who told me her friend had a baby in the car was that I hoped my labor progressed so quickly.

5. Take all advice with a grain of salt. Like I said in number 1, everyone has an opinion, or a way of doing things. My recent favorite is the neighbor who told me that it was dangerous to use a carseat in the first couple weeks of baby’s life, because they were too small. Yeah, for sure I’m taking that advice. I’ve seen the way people drive here; I’m not just holding him in my arms. It’s amazing how lax they are here on carseat laws. Not a risk I’m willing to take.

6. And lastly, you will find love and encouragement in places you weren’t expecting. Friends and family will really step up to take care of you when they know you’re dealing with something difficult or new. I’m so grateful for everyone in my life, even though I haven’t seen or even talked much to some in the past few months. You all really took care of me before I left, and I don’t know what I would’ve done without everyone. But what’s surprised me even more is the random words of encouragement I’ve gotten from people I barely know. I started this blog mainly as a way to update people close to me on what was going on, since I was writing the same messages and emails to people over and over. But the response I’ve gotten from other people is astounding, and it means so much to me that so many people take an interest in my life, and take time out of their day to write sweet notes to me. So to all of you, thank you very much, your words always come right when I need them.

In other news, I’m still just playing the waiting game. I’m almost 38 weeks, and my belly button finally popped out, so I’m really more than ready.  I’m waddling like a duck and having contractions periodically, so HOPEFULLY, my next post will be on the other side of motherhood.

Lastly, I’ll start doing a recipe of the week, because, hey, why not? So we’ll start with something I made last week, a sausage and vegetable roast. It was super easy, and pretty delicious if I do say so myself!

Sausage and Vegetable Roast
(2 servings)

About 1/2 lb of sweet sausages
2 potatoes
1 onion
2 carrots
1 apple
1 bell pepper
Olive Oil
Balsamic vinegar
Sea salt

Chop all vegetables. Place them in a roasting pan, and drizzle with oil, sea salt, vinegar, and about 1/2 cup of water. Brown the sausages in a frying pan on all sides, then add to the roasting pan. Roast in the oven at 350 for around 45-60 minutes, depending on the effectiveness of your oven (mine barely functions, it takes forever). Voila, you’re done! Bon appetit!!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

A Much-Needed, Overdue Guide to Social Media Manners

I realize that this is about a day late, but after a whole day of ignorant Facebook statuses, it became obvious that someone needed to write a guide to how to behave during campaign season on social media. This is only the second presidential election we’ve had since the creation of Facebook, Twitter, and who knows what else. So I will try to be the Emily Post of social media, and do us all a favor.

Rule #1

Check facts. Both Republicans and Democrats posted things everywhere that were completely untrue. Extremist views will never be taken seriously by anyone with any common sense. Which leads to Rule #2..

Rule #2:

Realize that a facebook status is more than likely not going to change anyone’s mind. What it will do is lead to unnecessary arguments via facebook comments with people that you barely know.

Rule #3

Politics and Religion are the two topics that are generally considered off-limits with people you don’t know well. These are the topics that are most likely to cause argument, so no need to do it with people you don’t already know. With your family and friends, it’s a different story; they already know and like you. However, I doubt that most of your Facebook friends are so close to you. 

Rule #4

This is important. Win gracefully. If the candidate you support wins, there is a nice way to celebrate via social media. Usually this is something simple, like “Yay ____!” or just a simple, short celebration that their vote was for the winning candidate. It does not include things like rubbing in the win, or making tongue in cheek remarks about the other candidate. You already won, you should celebrate rather than trying to make the other side angry. This is called bipartisanship. Something we should all strive to learn more about.

Rule #5

Lose gracefully.  Because of the time difference, I missed the actual news coverage (I tried to stay up, really, but it was too late here). When I woke up early to check the results, I was appalled by the number of people who said that the world was ending, the people who said the US was going to hell, and the otherwise ridiculous exaggerations. It’s normal to be sad when your candidate loses, but seriously? It made me embarrassed to know people who would say such things.

Rule #6

Understand how the system works. In the US, we have a system of checks and balances. The president doesn’t have ultimate power; this is how we prevent dictatorships. We have the legislative and judicial branches as well; didn’t anyone pay attention in US history class? The president is more of a figurehead than anything. I’m not saying it’s not important, but the country will not collapse into Communism without the support of the other branches.

Rule #7

This one is just for everyone else’s sake. Please use correct grammar and spelling. It doesn’t take that long to spell check; just do it! You embarrass your fellow party members when you write grammatically incorrect posts about a candidate. And please, please, please don’t say “I could care less”. This is one of my biggest pet peeves; it’s a useless statement. “I could NOT care less” is what you were trying to say; “I could care less” simply says that in fact, you could care even less than you do, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to say.

Rule #8

This goes along with fact-checking, I suppose, but deserves its own rule. To  those of you who are moving to Canada, Australia, Europe, etc., do you know anything about their governments? They’re far more socialized than the US, with universal health care and many more welfare programs. In fact, the US is the most conservative first-world country in the world. Just food for thought.

Rule #9

This should go without saying, but apparently not. If you didn’t vote, don’t complain. Ever. You forfeited your right to choose. Also, I wouldn’t admit it online; you will lose all respect and credibility with most of us.

Rule #10

Most importantly, no matter who wins, you must accept that he/she is your President. I told Paolo as soon as I found out that I would far rather have Obama prove me wrong and do a great job, than to be right and have things worsen. No matter who had won, there would still be about 50% of people against him, but that’s democracy. We chose our leader; now it’s time for him to do his part of the deal.

Anyways, I hope that our country can prosper and do well, and more than anything, I hope that Americans will work together to succeed. We’ve become so split into our political parties that I almost feel like we’re behind enemy lines. If we want progress, we have to come together. I think that Romney had some really great ideas for economic recovery, and I hope that all of those ideas are not just completely ignored because they came from a Republican. He was a businessman, after all.

In the future, I hope that people will learn to be nicer to each other and respect the fact that people have different views. As nice as it would be for everyone to just like me, I realize that it can’t and won’t happen. Social media is a relatively new outlet for people to express ideas, and maybe in the future we can learn to control our words a bit more. Probably not, it’s human nature.. but seriously, you guys almost put me in early labor as I was reading through everyone’s comments this morning from both sides. Let’s all be mature, and remember that America is still a great, free country. Never forget all that our forefathers fought for, and never take these things for granted.

I promise this is my last political rant for awhile; there are too many other things on the horizon to talk about right now. Like the fact that this afternoon, I’m going for my consultation with an anesthesiologist for an epidural talk. That’s right, I gave in already. My doctor told me there was no reason to be a hero, and if it makes me feel better, do it. So there you go, I’m a big wuss. Also, she predicted he’ll come as early as November 15, so yes, that’s next week. No big deal. Paolo and I start childbirth class tonight (a little late, I know), which should be interesting since 1. it’s in Italian, I’ll understand niente, and 2. many things are done differently here. So we’ll see. And finally, here’s my latest homemade attempt at maternity photos, thanks Pinterest for the idea.





 

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Life Update

I know, I’ve been slacking on my writing. In my defense, Paolo’s family was visiting all weekend, and I’ve been struggling. But I’m back, and so I’ll give a little life update.

First of all, in regards to my last post, there is a reason I don’t like to discuss politics. It’s because no matter what you say, your words can be misconstrued. I did state that I didn’t totally agree with the article I talked about, but simply that I thought the guy had some good points. I think abortion is a very deep issue, and in no way advocate it. I think too many politicians like to talk about it, but never actually do anything. Because of that, I think we as a population should start to question why it happens so much more frequently in the US than in other countries.  Maybe then we can find a solution to that problem, and thus reduce the abortion rate, at the very least.

Anyways, enough of that. On to happier topics. I went to the doctor last Tuesday, and good news! First of all, I didn’t gain any weight (yay me!), but the baby did, so he is a healthy 5.5 pounds, and is down and in position to arrive! If you’re keeping track, I’m 36 weeks, so getting close.. the doctor also said that based on his measurements and position, he may be a little early, so let’s hope for that!  I’m not sure how much longer my back/ribs can hold out, so I wouldn’t mind a couple weeks early. I mean, really, I’m probably doing ok for being in the 9th month, but even “ok” is still no party. I’m tired of asking people to do things for me, and not feeling like myself. Yoga and walking have helped my back, but still.. you can’t just gain 25 pounds and it not have some effect on your back.  Aside from all of that, I’m just ready to meet little Alessandro!

I keep hearing about how difficult the first couple weeks are after baby arrives, and I’m trying to prepare myself. I mean, I realize sleep is not going to be in the cards that much, but as far as I can see, newborns just eat, sleep, and poop, so can it really be so awful? I know I’m being naive, and all you veteran moms are laughing at me now, but let me just live in my little delusions for a couple more weeks. I’ll figure it out.

In other news, not much is going on. I have a lot of doctor’s appointments and such this week, so big fun ahead. In closing, I’ll include a recipe that many Americans attempt and overcomplicate, but is so easy you’ll realize you never needed a recipe. So here is how to make authentic Italian bruschetta:

Bruschetta

Toast as many pieces of bread as you want to make. Yes, just regular sliced bread will work fine.
Chop tomatoes (1 small one per person or 1 big one for two people) into small cubes, add a bit of olive oil, salt, and pepper, and mix.
Rub cloves of garlic (amount depends on how much you like garlic) over the toasted bread, and top with the tomato mixture.
Voila! That’s it, so easy!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Happy Election Season!!

I don’t like to talk about politics via social media. I find it completely counter-productive. My mind has never been changed or even remotely influenced by a meme or ranting Facebook status, so I don’t really see the need for all of that. And now, in the midst of election season, it’s impossible, even from a continent away, to escape the chaos. Many Italians have asked me my opinions, or who I’m voting for, so it’s obvious that this election is a big deal to the world. Also, my vote has already been sent in, so don’t try to campaign to me if you think you may change my mind. And, to all you people who say you aren’t voting because they’re both idiots, it’s you who is the idiot. Regardless of who you’re voting for, it is important to exercise your right, because as Americans, we fought long and hard for that right. Of course they’re idiots; they’re politicians. You won’t ever agree with one of them about everything, and they’re bound to screw up sometime. But to not have an opinion at all, or not let your opinion be heard (because everyone has an opinion, believe it or not), is just a poor attitude.

Anyways. Off my soapbox now. I say all of that to say that I found an article today that was quite interesting to me.  It deals with an issue that has been a hot topic this election season, and really, every election season: abortion. I found it interesting, because rather than just debating the right and wrong, as we have for so long, it offers a solution to the problem. As you can probably guess, I’m pro-life, and can’t say that I agree with everything in the article, but I can really relate to women facing unexpected pregnancies and think the author makes some great points. You can find the article at this link:
http://us.cnn.com/2012/10/29/opinion/frum-abortion-reality/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

If you don’t want to read it, here’s a brief summary. Basically, statistics show that the rate of abortion is directly related with economic status. Poorer women have more limited access to birth control, thus resulting in more pregnancies. Because children are expensive to raise, and the US doesn’t offer very generous maternity leave or other benefits to mothers, these poorer women are more likely to have abortions, either because they can’t afford another child, or they can’t afford a child at all. The author of this article compares the US with Germany and the Netherlands, which both have much better benefit packages for mothers, and also have much lower abortion rates. The abortion laws in these countries are not very restrictive, but by giving mothers some assistance, the incentive for abortion is much less.

Ok, now the reason this article is so interesting to me is that I’ve realized in the last few weeks how limited the US is with their motherhood benefits. We give food stamps to everyone, and have many government programs that are completely stupid and a waste of money, but we can’t give new mothers anything. We discussed this at one of my Italian classes last week. Each country represented by someone in the class went over their country’s laws, and out of Ukraine, Portugal, Egypt, Morocco, India, and a couple others I can’t remember, the US was by far the worst. Six weeks maternity leave is barely enough time to recover from having a baby, much less get to know the baby, and spend any time with him/her. Many mothers are forced to return to work simply because they have to. In Italy, mothers get 6 MONTHS maternity leave, and the father also gets some time, which can be used at once, or can be transferred to the mother to compound her time. Other countries offered even more; I think Ukraine was the most generous, but I can’t remember exactly how much was offered. The other women in my class were appalled at six weeks, they couldn’t understand how you could possibly breastfeed, or leave the baby with someone at that age. I have to say, it’s something I haven’t thought about until now, but it really is difficult in the US to work and have children. It’s almost like you have to choose one or the other to be great at, or just be mediocre at both. I’m very blessed in that I have parents on both sides that are willing to help out, but not everyone has that.

I know the author of this article is probaby not pro-life, but I like that he offers solutions to at least reduce abortion. It can never be completely eliminated; people will find ways, but if the number could be cut to 1/3 of the current number, it would be a great advancement. We can go back and forth for many years over when life begins, or whether unborn children have rights, but many babies will be lost in that time, not to mention the millions of women that will be emotionally damaged in the process. Or, in the meantime, we can offer alternate solutions to help women desperate enough to consider abortion as an option, and to put motherhood back in a positive light, even for working women.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone; it was certainly not my intention. I realize that abortion is a very complex issue, and I could talk for much longer about it, but in the essence of time, I just wanted to comment on that particular article. Remember, go vote!! It may seem like your vote is insignificant, but if everyone thought that way, what would happen?

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Violent American on the Loose

If you see me make this face: RUN!

Have I mentioned that Italian people like to stare? Probably. Usually they stare at someone/something that they find either attractive or odd. Since I’m pregnant, I automatically fall into the odd category here. Since I’m young (ie, below 30), I fall into the “rare as Big Foot” category. So I get stares and also many kind words, such as, “Is she PREGNANT or really fat???” The jig is up Italy. At this point in my language learning, I understand most of what’s being said. Actually 2 months ago I understood that sentence. So shut up. I didn’t let it bother me in the beginning, but I’ve been super hormonal these past couple weeks, and am about to drop-kick the next Italian who whispers loudly in front of me. People should really be afraid of pregnant women; I’m huge and have some built-up rage. That was your warning, people of Italy. Don’t be surprised when you hear I’m in an Italian jail.

ANYWAYS. With having a child comes many important decisions; things I’ve never really thought of in my life. Honestly, I never thought about most child-related things before. I wasn’t the kind of girl who has a baby Pinterest board, I didn’t have baby names chosen by the age of 15 (or 22 actually), and the only reason I know about childcare is because I’m the oldest of four. That being said, I’ve spent more time in the last few months thinking and learning about babies than I have in the rest of my life.

Important Decision #1: Baby Name. For a girl, it would’ve been easier, I think. But finding out he was a boy was a game changer. I didn’t have any boy names even by 20 weeks pregnant. I think that most boy names are so common and overused; I wanted something different, with some meaning. Now, here’s where things got complicated: Paolo and I come from two different cultures, languages, etc. We had to find a name that was pronounced correctly, or close enough to correctly in both languages. May sound stupid, but no one here can say my name correctly. Including Paolo. Granted, I don’t say his name correctly either. Paolo’s choice was Ettore, which is the Italian version of Hector. Not only did I hate the name, but it would’ve been butchered in America. My favorites were Gabriel, Noah, and Rowan. Gabriel was ruined for me once I got here because of a certain person by that name. Noah sounds ridiculous when pronounced by an Italian, and they pronounce the “w” in Rowan like a “v”. So we decided to start from scratch. We finally came up with Alessandro, which is not super rare here, but I never heard of one in the US. I think it’s easy to pronounce, especially if you sing along to Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”, and it’s also a strong name. It’s the Italian version of Alexander, which I think is a strong name, but too popular in the US. So, even though my family doesn’t like it, Alessandro it is. It also has great nickname potential, in my opinion.

His middle name will be James. The story behind that is actually pretty funny. Paolo told me when we first started dating that his middle name was James. I never questioned it, and when I found out we were having a boy, I thought to myself that James would be a good middle name, after his father. However, Paolo then informed me that of course his middle name wasn’t James, it had been a joke, no Italian parents would give this middle name to their baby.. so we thought it had a nice story behind it. So Alessandro James will be his name.

Important Decision #2: Birth plan? I didn’t know this existed before, I thought it was just a process. But now, you have to know what you want, blah, blah, blah.  I also thought that here in Italy, I wouldn’t get an epidural, so I got used to this idea. But then when I found out I could, honestly, I was a little disappointed. When you don’t have the option, you don’t have a choice but to do it naturally. Which somehow makes me feel like more of a woman. Maybe I’m a masochist? After some thought, I’ve decided to do it au natural, however, I am meeting with the anesthesiologist here in order to keep my options open if the pain ends up being unbearable. We’ll see.

Important Decision #3: All the little decisions that you never think of before. Breast-feeding or bottle-feeding? Cloth or regular diapers? Make your own baby food or buy it? Crib or bassinet? The list goes on forever.. so far, most of the things I’ve chosen are surprising to me. I never thought I would be so green as to choose cloth diapers, but the more I looked into it, the more appealing it was. I should save at least $1000, and you know, things like saving the environment. I know I’m in for laudry woes, especially here with no dryer, but we’ll see. Most of these things are personal choices that you make based on work situations, etc., so I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do it.

Important Decision #4: Parenting style. To be honest, I don’t think reading books or things like this can help that much. I think it must be something that just evolves over time. I’m trying to approach motherhood with no preconceived notions or expectations, just the ambition to raise my child to be a respectful, intelligent, and interesting man. Not asking too much, right? Once again, we’ll see. Every child is different, and I think to expect one parenting style to work before he’s even born is ridiculous.

There are a million other decisions that have to be made, but you get the point. And I have no doubt that a million more decisions lie on the horizon that I haven’t even thought of yet. C’est la vie!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

It's the Small Things

As I get closer and closer to D-day, my life gets less and less exciting, or rather, I’m moving less and less, so not much has happened lately. But I still like to write, so I’ll do a top ten list this time.

After living in both France and Italy, I’ve realized that a lot of creature comforts that we consider normal in America are not so easily found in other places. Sometimes I wonder what they do without these little things, but I guess they haven’t realized the necessity of this stuff yet. So my list today will be:

Top 10 Difficult-to-Find Consumer Goods in Italy

1.  Antibacterial soap- This one I just discovered, and am heart-broken. I had a small one, but wanted to get a big one for after the baby is born, so that only germ-free people will touch him. At the main store, we found one brand of hand sanitizer, which was tiny and cost around $5. I really don’t understand; it seems like such a basic thing. And with the disgusting bathrooms I’ve encountered in the last months, I’ve been very grateful for the one I did have. You would think that with all the old buildings, buses, etc., hand sanitizer would be prominent. Guess not.                                            

2. Baking powder and soda- They don’t use these in baking here, period. I finally realized that they do have baking soda, but only use it on their feet. They apparently use much more yeast here than we do in the US.

3. Chocolate chips- virtually non-existant. I can’t really complain about chocolate here though, because it comes in every other form and flavor you could imagine. But anything chocolate chip is a no-go.

4. Granny panties- No need to explain. Sometimes a girl just wants some granny panties. Apparently only sexy underwear is allowed in Italy.

5. Baby ANYTHING- It does exist, but is hard to find, and expensive. Chicco has a monopoly here on everything baby-related, so you pay accordingly. Certain things like burp cloths are non-existent. Maybe Italian babies don’t spit up?

6. Brown sugar- Paolo has been in love with brown sugar since I made sweet potato casserole, so I brought some with me. They don’t have it here at all, and always think I’m talking about raw cane sugar when I ask about it.

7. Sweet potatoes- One of my very favorite foods, and nowhere to be found. I’m really sad this one didn’t make it over to Europe along with tomatoes and corn. They really don’t know what they’re missing out on.

8. Air Freshener- The woman who lived in my apartment before me died here and was here for three days before they found her. Needless to say, you can’t help but feel the smell is still there even though it happened months ago. The only thing I’ve found to improve smell is candles, but air freshener would be a nice reinforcement. Non-existent here.

9. Matches- Along with the candles, I had to buy matches, which was far more of a challenge than I expected. Apparently here in Italy, the government controls distribution and sale of matches and they are only sold in certain stores. These are called tabacchi, and are also the only place you can buy cigarettes (if you were wondering). There’s no such thing as a one-stop shop here in Italy.

10. Cough Drops- I discovered this one last Christmas, when I came down with bronchitis while visiting. I couldn’t find cough drops anywhere, and when we finally went to a pharmacy, they sold me something over the counter that they said would help. As soon as I put one in my mouth, I realized I had paid around $10 for 15 cough drops. Ridiculous. They only sell them in pharmacies here, and come on, for the effectiveness of a cough drop, it’s just not worth the price.


So, enjoy your creature comforts, even the little things. You can always make do without, but sometimes it’s just nice to have the things you’re used to around you.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

The Walking Dead

No, the title does not refer to the hit zombie television show; it is actually my classification of a group of people here in Italy. Now, just to clarify, I don’t dislike old people. Some of them are delightful. And by old, I really mean more of a way of being than a particular age. If you are in your 80s and still jogging like one of Paolo’s grandfathers, then kudos to you; you’re better than me. Anyways, here the people that I consider “old” are, as I’ve said before, very rude. They have an opinion on everything, always want to share that opinion, and often do everything possible to make sure you know that they deserve to be treated a certain way, because dang it, they made it that far in life. So this group of people, I don’t like at all. But here in Italy, there is a group beyond just the old. And they are literally like zombies.

In America, once people reach a certain point in life, they tend to go to assisted living homes or with their kids. This is apparently not the case here, unless their health requires it. And also, people live longer here. In fact, they have the 5th highest life expectancy in the world, with an average of 82 years (America is 38th, with 78.2 years). I don’t know why this is; maybe pizza has some magical ingredients. What I do know is that people here live way too long. Not that we should start terminating them or anything (we’ve been watching all the Terminator movies this week), but seriously. They're not living in assisted living; they're among us all. I don’t know how they’re functioning on their own. The most common place to see such old people is on the bus, of course. They’re always just sitting there, never moving, never speaking; nothing. Just staring. I think staring is the only thing they can really do at that point. And they do it really well. It always looks like an incredibly condemning, soul-searching stare, no matter who they’re looking at. Women are the best at that. The men just sit there, completely lifeless.     THEY NEVER MOVE. It’s like they’re just riding the bus for forever, with no destination. I don’t actually know how they managed to hobble onto the bus in the first place. Well, occasionally I’ll see them get on the bus, and if it’s crowded, they stare into the souls of whoever is sitting down until you feel obligated to move. Normally, I would always give my seat to an old person. But I’m the size of a whale now, and feeling every bit of it, so I don’t really know who wins in the war of pregnant vs. zombie.  It usually depends on how many undeserving people are taking up seats; I feel  more entitled to a seat than a 13 year old kid. But I digress.

One of the Ukrainian women in my Italian class has really taken to me, and she works as a caretaker for these “anciano” as they call them here. By the way, there are different words in Italian for levels of oldness: “vecchio/a”= old; “anciano/a”= ancient. Wouldn’t you just love to be classified as ancient? Anyways, the woman was telling me that there are so many old people here, and that they really just live too long, which I found funny. She said they are very demanding, and not able to do much of anything, but that it was the easiest jobs for foreigners to find, because once again, there’s so many of them. I guess maybe part of the reason for this is the socialized health care and all the government programs, because I noticed that most of the top countries on the list had universal health care. But is that really the life you want? Personally, when I get to zombie status, I prefer just to go on. I don’t want to sit on buses all day, staring into the souls of everyone coming and going. It would be one thing if this class of “super-old” people were living wonderful lives, enriching the world, but they’re just riding buses all day. Or apparently complaining to personal caretakers, no doubt using taxpayer’s money to cover the expense.

I tell you now, in print, that when I get to that age and condition, please don’t do extra things to keep me alive. I don’t want some girl a quarter of my age blogging about my zombie status. Just let me go.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

My Glamorous Life

I have heard some rumors that my life is glamorous. So, I wanted to clear that up. My life is in fact, not glamorous at all. I know that to meet an Italian while studying in France, and then moving to Italy to have a baby may sound like the stuff of fairytales, but I assure you, it’s not that easy or simple.

Maybe the first part of the story is, but a year of long distance sure wasn’t. And moving here mid-pregnancy was far from easy and romantic. It’s difficult enough to be pregnant in a place familiar to you, but add in learning a language, adjusting to a new culture, and mountains of paperwork, and it becomes somewhat of a headache. Not that it has no rewards, or that I’m miserable. In fact, overall, I’m happy here, but it’s not because of the place. Remember, the Italy you see on movies, or when you do a brief tour, is not the real Italy. The real Italy is the one with perpetually late buses, with rude, nosy old women, and with a serious lack of common courtesy.

This is something that I really miss. I miss southern manners. I miss men opening doors, or giving up seats on the bus. Not all men here are so rude. In fact, Paolo’s friends are quite protective of me, and polite in general. But many men just seem oblivious to common courtesy. The only people that have offered me seats on the overly crowded, perpetually late buses are actually women. And I can only assume it’s because they remember what it’s like to be pregnant. I can understand old people sitting down, or people with small children. I don’t want their seats; they need them. But the idiotic teenagers, or middle aged men that just sit there with no thought of being polite to either me or the elderly woman who just got on the bus, are just plain rude. Not to mention those that push to get on the stupid bus. Needless to say, I don’t like the buses here. They’re an unavoidable part of life, but so incredibly inefficient.

If there’s something to be jealous of, it’s definitely the food. Even just a grocery store experience here is so much more fun than in America. I will sincerely miss the 59 cent balls of fresh mozzarella and the incredibly cheap, fresh produce. Also, the fixed menus that restaurants here have are fantastic. The place we went to today for lunch gives you a huge plate of pasta (mine was spaghetti bolognaise today) with a dessert, bottle of water, and coffee for 7 euros. You couldn’t find that in America. And they really put effort into making it look nice too, so you feel fancy even though it’s cheap.

So basically, it’s a mixed bag being here. Glamorous is not the word I would use to describe it. Pregnant is pregnant, not matter where or who you are. I cannot lie to you and tell you that it’s a glamorous experience. All it takes is one baby kick in the wrong place, or a joke that’s a little too funny to take you back to infancy. Your back will hurt, you will be tired, sometimes you may be mad for no reason. This is true everywhere. If you want to continue to think that I’m rowing the canals of Venice everyday while a handsome Italian feeds me chocolate and plays music on his harp, go for it. But in reality, I’m fighting people to get on the bus, Paolo denies me chocolate because I’m not supposed to gain too much weight, and he sings Blink 182 songs wildly out of tune. Life may not always be exciting, and even frustrating at times, but that’s life. You just have to learn as you go, take a little from the places you go, and live.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Wrinkles in Time

We all know those people that are late for everything. I tend to be a “five minutes late for everything” type, so I’m not guilt-free. However, the Italians make me feel completely organized and punctual. They’re on a completely different time system.

I should’ve realized it was this way when I first met Paolo. On our first date, we planned to meet in the central square in Nice at a certain time. I was still adjusting to walking everywhere,  so my timing was off, and I was 10 minutes late. I was already coming up with excuses in my head, but when I got there, Paolo was nowhere to be found. He showed up about 10 minutes later, leisurely strolling towards the fountain. It didn’t take me long to realize that he was late for everything. Not only that, but when he said he was “5 minutes away”, it usually meant 15. He’s always telling me that certain things are only a 10 minute walk, but somehow when I do the same walk, it’s around 25 minutes. I am a bit slower now, admittedly, but come on. But since being here, I’ve realized that he comes by it honestly.

No one here has any concept of time, or really, the concept of respecting others’ time. People arrange outings 20 minutes before the outing itself. Or if it’s planned earlier, the time is changed so many times that there’s no way to actually plan anything around it. For example, we were initially planning to go for dinner with a few friends Saturday night. This was eventually postponed for Sunday night at 7:30. We didn’t take a bus until 7:31, knowing that the others would be late, but then they called and said they wouldn’t be there until 8:30. Some still weren’t there when we left at 9:30. Once again, I understand lateness. But it’s slightly ridiculous that a whole country is operating on some completely different time.  Maybe I’m just not spontaneous enough. I like to have an idea of what’s coming, now more than ever, in order to plan my other tasks of the day. Even if it’s just menial things, like doing laundry, I want to get it done, and not get behind just because of buses running on an entirely different schedule than the one posted, or walking twice as long as expected.

Also, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but people here are quite insistent. You can’t say no to food offered; it’s extremely rude apparently. Even if you’re completely stuffed, you better try those cookies. But then they all have to offer an opinion on whether I’m gaining too much weight or not. If I am, I assure you that the cookies don’t help. Or for a while, there was a certain person that was asking us every night to watch movies or do anything with him, and it was almost easier to just do it than to say no, because saying no meant you better have a darn good excuse. As in, being hospitalized. And if neither of us answered our phones, then he came to the house. And knocked until I answered.  Fortunately, pregnancy provides me with fairly decent excuses in that situation, as I can just give some gross symptom that I’m experiencing, and no more questions. I’ve only ever faked sick for that one particular guy, but I can’t even feel guilty about it. Sometimes you just want a night to yourself.

It’s so strange to observe another culture so closely. It’s much different than travelling. When you travel, you get kind of a bird’s eye view of a place, and really just see the image that the country is trying to project. It’s even different now than when I was studying in Nice. I spent all my time there with international students, and really didn’t learn too much about the actual French people (although to be honest, from what I saw, this wasn’t a huge loss). But being here, I’m really among the Italians. I’m living in a non-touristy student town, where English speakers are few and far between. It’s really fascinating to observe how another culture lives, and how people interact with each other. Things that they don’t even notice are so strange to me, but the case is also true vice versa. I’m always being told that I make funny faces while speaking, but I guess it’s true that they aren’t quite as facially expressive here, and you certainly never see someone roll their eyes. But if I tied their hands together, they wouldn’t be able to speak. It’s these little observations that make my time here interesting. Annoying sometimes, but also interesting. Once you learn that 10 minutes= at least 20, and that all times are tentative, you learn to overlook these things. After all, the important thing is to enjoy the time, not to count it.

By the way, Paolo and I took a little trip to the Certosa di Pavia yesterday, which is Pavia's main (only) tourist attraction, and I took the opportunity to make him take some pictures. They don't really do any kind of professional photography here, so no maternity pictures for me. I'm ok with that, because I think people tend to take pictures for far too many occasions these days; I want the newborn photos more. But obviously, I won't be getting any of them. I'm going to try to learn more about how to take good photos, because I have a decent camera, I just don't know how to use all the features. But anyways, I too got the cheesy heart on the belly pic that is apparently required to have a baby these days, so here ya go.





Ciao for now,

Kathleen

la vita d'italiana

I don’t really have one thing in particular to discuss this time, but rather several random things, so excuse the flow of this blog. 

I’ve been sick for the past couple days, and am feeling slightly better today, but still not 100%. I went to the doctor yesterday, which was my first time to visit a general physician here. With my Italian insurance, I have one particular doctor assigned to me. I’m still not entirely confident in his intelligence, as on the phone he reminded Paolo that vomiting was normal in the first couple months of pregnancy, after Paolo had said that I was in my eighth month. Anyways, it was a strange office. The doctor was the only one there, and had little more than an old fashioned doctor’s bag with a stethoscope, etc., inside. He did speak some English though, so that was nice. I’m not really good enough yet to explain symptoms in Italian. Not exactly the Rosetta Stone vocab that I’ve learned. He concluded that I just had a virus, and there wasn’t much to do, so that was fairly pointless, but at least I did what I could.

I had been to the baby doctor the day before, so it’s been a week of doctors. Everything was good, except apparently the baby has an unusually large head. Not great news for me.. hopefully that will slow down in the next few weeks as his body catches up. I have gained between 20-22 pounds so far, and the doctor told me that was enough. What?? In the US, they say to gain between 25-35, so I thought I was doing ok. But she told me to eat no bread, no sugar, etc. Yeah, right. We’ll see. Of course I don’t want to gain too much, but come on. It took me forever to gain anything; I could hide my pregnancy until 6 months. But in the last month, I really popped. I think it should slow down now.. hopefully. I am trying to cut back and eat better so I don’t continue to gain at such a rapid pace, but I think any diet that cuts out entire food groups is stupid. She said the only sugar I should eat was with fruit, and I should only eat two fruits per day. Sorry, but that goes against everything I’ve ever heard. I’m fairly certain that one can eat as many fruits and vegetables as they want. Italians..

Speaking of Italians, let’s discuss bus strikes. Or train or plane strikes. Everyone strikes regularly here. This is incredibly inconvenient. It’s scheduled, so you know it’s coming, but then at certain hours, the buses still run, because during the hours people come and go from work, transportation is guaranteed by law. But this creates mass chaos, because those buses are so packed you can hardly breathe. I made the mistake of taking one the other day, and really wished I’d just walked home. It’s about a 25 minute walk from my apartment to the city center, which isn’t bad in this weather, but after a day of the doctor, class, and shopping, I was ready to just be home. The bus was 30 minutes late, and disgustingly packed. I was yelled at by an old woman for not getting off quickly enough because I couldn’t get through the hoard of people. Old women are the worst here, though, so that’s whatever. Today the buses were supposedly on regular schedule, but I was late to my class because the bus came ten minutes late, with two in a row. It’s so stupid. It’s as though they just go whenever they feel the need. Inevitably, there end up being two buses in a row, which is so inefficient.

And yes, I have started an Italian class finally. It’s nice; finally learning with other people on my level. The teacher actually told me the first day that I was doing really well for only being here two months. Which is a nice change from what certain other people expect from me. The funny thing about my class is that I stick out like a sore thumb. It’s a free class, so most of the people there are immigrants looking for work. Half the class is from Ukraine, and the other half from north Africa. And then me. We’ve had a different teacher each day so far, so as soon as they hear my name, I get to answer 1000 questions. Obviously, not many Americans make it to Pavia, much less take this class. I feel like an exhibit in a zoo most of the time.

By the way, I found out at my doctor’s visit that I CAN have epidural!!! This makes me feel so much better, especially if his head stays disproportionally large. I had kind of gotten used to the idea of delivering naturally, to have the experience and say that I’ve done it. But let’s be honest, if I can get the epidural, I’ll take it. I have a very low pain tolerance, and I don’t buy into this “drugging your baby” stuff. I think childbirth can’t be that enjoyable for baby either, so he probably doesn’t mind a little epidural either.

I’m getting really anxious to have this baby already!! It’s not long now, which is crazy, but I’m tired of being pregnant. I’m finally sleeping better, and my back pain has somehow subsided somewhat. Paolo would probably say the worst part is my hormones, because I’m really crazy sometimes (probably because I can't eat sugar anymore). Occasionally, I get so angry over something and then realize halfway through that it’s no big deal, but I can’t back down because I’ve already taken my stance. I feel so irrational. You people in America are lucky to be far away. If I was still working in a restaurant, I would’ve probably murdered a customer by now. Count your blessings, Maestro 2300 peeps.

Last random thought: I really want a new haircut. Can I pull off bangs? I probably will do it anyways even if people say no, but if you have a better idea, let me know. I want some layers, and chunky bangs. I need change. And I’m scared of doing it here, but it’s time to bite the bullet, and to make sure I say the right thing.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

It's Raining Hookers

Yesterday, we decided to go to Ikea, along with three of Paolo’s friends (all male, by the way). If you’ve never experienced Ikea, it’s a like an amusement park for women. Everything you could possibly need for your house is in one huge store, with displays, customization options, etc. And all for great prices. The thought of going with four boys seemed like the start of a joke, but really it isn’t even the strangest thing I experienced yesterday.

Now let me set the scene for you. We had to drive to the outskirts of Milan to go, which is about 30 minutes away. The road we used was about the equivalent of a US highway, some country, some city areas, etc. There were five of us squished in a Volkswagon Golf, with expectations of buying lots of things. And it was mid-afternoon and raining. Ok, now on to the good part.

About 10 minutes into our drive, I noticed a woman sitting in a chair, about 15 feet away from a fruit stand, well-dressed, with a large umbrella. There was nothing else really in the area, other than the fruit stand. The only thing I could guess was that she was waiting on a bus. The boys were all talking, but I can’t always understand everything, so I didn’t really pay attention. About five minutes later, I saw another woman in exactly the same strange situation; seated in the middle of nowhere, with an umbrella. So I finally just asked what was up with that. The boys all told me that they were prostitutes, but I really couldn’t believe it at first. I mean, I can’t really see that there’s a great market for prostitution on a rainy afternoon on the way to Ikea. But clearly, I was wrong. We saw at least five more after that, some more scantily clad than others, one who was most likely a man. So of course I had to ask questions.

Apparently, when they get a job, they either go to nearby motels, or the “customers” just pull over their car. After finding that out, I noticed several cars pulled over randomly; one with an open umbrella beside it. I’m still in slight disbelief, because I mean, it’s almost like drive-thru prostitutes.

I’ve seen them before of course, but never in the middle of the day. In the middle of the country. In the rain. And furthermore, this can’t be very safe. Not that the oldest profession has ever been the safest, but to just be alone in the middle of a cow pasture, with only your thigh highs and an umbrella can’t really be the smartest thing ever. And the business side of me really can’t help but question whether this is really the best scheme for making money. It seems like most people looking for hookers probably would be looking elsewhere, not on the way into a city, in the afternoon. Maybe I just don’t know the market that well, but I thought they were called “ladies of the night” for a reason.

Sidenote: prostitution is illegal in Italy. But like many other things here, it is slightly overlooked. Until Berlusconi hires one at least, in which case the media makes a huge deal over it, and then the public will most likely choose to re-elect him as PM.

The Ikea trip was lovely, by the way; I would highly encourage you to go if you’ve never been to one before. It’s one of my favorite companies because of the structure and efficiency of it, which I won’t go into as to not bore everyone who doesn't love the business details. Not to mention the incredible deals and ideas you’ll get there. So if you ever need some new home furnishings/decorations/accessories, make your way to the closest Ikea, and make a game of counting the umbrellas along the way.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

So Stereotypical..

In America, when we think about Italians, several images come to mind. One is the image of a huge family, eating tons of food, and being really loud. Another is that they are all super stylish, dressing in only the finest clothes at all times. And for women, we have the impression that Italian men are the sexiest in the world, all just waiting to woo us in a gondola.

For sure, these images have some basis in truth, but like most stereotypes, they’re just generalizations. In fact, I’ve seen many not so stylish people here. People do at least get dressed here (no pajamas in public), but not everyone is so elegant. And of course some of the men are beautiful (yes, Paolo, you are included!), but it’s not exactly just one drop dead gorgeous man after another. As for the giant feasts, Paolo claims this is a southern thing, and I’ve never been there, so I don’t know. However, one stereotype that is definitely true is that all Italian women love to give advice. On everything. I experienced it first in December, when I was cooking a huge Thanksgiving dinner. One of Paolo’s roommate’s mom was visiting, and she literally sat in the kitchen watching me cook for hours, giving me advice in Italian. I didn’t speak a word of Italian at the time, and moreover, I think I know a little more than an Italian about cooking roast turkey, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, etc. If it was pasta, ok, give me all the advice you want, but come on. I’m from Alabama, I can school any Italian in soul food.

Anyways, this continued with random women on trains giving me advice when I had a cold, and other stupid things. The Family is an endless supply of advice for me. I should dry my hair immediately after showering to not catch cold, don’t run the air conditioning when you are wet, etc. Now that I’m pregnant, this advice is multiplied by infinity. Everyone wants to offer solutions for my problems; some are helpful, some are ridiculous. Most are fairly old fashioned.

But this is probably because so few people here are even pregnant that they never found new solutions. Or learned anything about modern pregnancy research. I’ve had so many people offer me wine or beer with dinner. In America, no one would offer me drinks, knowing that I was pregnant. Here they’re far more relaxed; when I say, “No thanks, I’m pregnant, I’m not supposed to drink”, they usually wave me off and tell me one won’t hurt.. Then I have to explain that I prefer not to take the risk; it isn’t worth it, and they just look at me like I’m extremely bizarre. In fact, most things that American doctors would tell you not to do or eat, people here don’t care about (drugs aside). I was encouraged by my doctor here to eat sushi, although prosciutto was forbidden. I don’t get it. Raw is raw. And they also don’t care at all about caffeine here; in the land of cappucinos and macchiatos, caffeine restriction is unacceptable.


And there is certainly no one my age is having babies; you should be at least 30. I’m like a modern day leper. It’s hard to blame them though; this is not a society that accomodates babies. You have to have money to have babies, which is why few people have them, and those that do don’t have many. The birth rate in Italy is around 1.2 per couple, which is extremely low. But I guess if you have to pay $13 for one onesie, you think twice about kids. Not only is everything baby related expensive, but it’s hard to find. There’s no Babies’R’Us  or anything relatively similar. I was starting to think that poor Alessandro was going to have to be naked for his first six weeks, but yesterday I struck gold by finding out that a local baby clothing store, Prenatal, was actually the outlet version of the original store. I was so happy to find that, because at 75% off, the clothing was finally affordable or at least comparable to baby clothing in the US.  If Italy really wants to work on their birth rate, they will make the country more baby-friendly. They’re starting to offer more government benefits for those who have kids, but what they need is more competition in the baby market, and more options for daycare.  There are two chains that dominate in Italy (Prenatal and Chicco), and so they can charge as much as they want. This is why people buy such ridiculously expensive strollers here. Partly because it’s somehow a status symbol, but mostly because it’s what’s available. People will shell out $600+ for a Bugaboo simply because there aren’t many options, and certainly no Graco.

So if you want to send some onesies, my address is.. Just kidding! We just have to make it six weeks approximately after his birth, then I’ll be back in the US, with no euro-dollar conversion.

Ciao for now!

Kathleen

Weekend in Budapest

Ok, so now for the long-awaited Budapest report. First of all, like I said previously, we decided to go to Budapest because of the cheap flight via Ryanair. We wanted to go on just a quick weekend trip, one last hoorah before the baby, if you will, so a 2 euro flight to a cheap Eastern European country was exactly what we were looking for.

I didn’t really know that much about Budapest before, other than that it used to be two cities (Buda and Pest), and that there were thermal baths there. After visiting, I can’t really say that now I have a deep knowledge on the history of Budapest, but this is probably because I don’t really buy into the whole bus/tour guide operation. I prefer to experience the city for myself, to explore, get lost, etc. So that is what we did. In retrospect, I would say that in my current condition, this backpacking mentality didn’t work out great. Wandering aimlessly, getting lost at night, etc, can be even charming in good conditions, but at 6 1/2 months pregnant, it was not as much fun. By the end of three days, my feet were literally twice their normal size. Nevertheless, I will still look back on Budapest as being a beautiful city and will give it another chance in the future.

The thing about Budapest is that when you were where you were trying to be, it was fantastic. The city is very beautiful, especially in the center. It is very similar to Prague in structure and architecture. There are two sides, divided by a river, with a castle area on one side, and city center on the other, so it is really easy to confuse with Prague. Budapest is in general cheaper than Prague, and most of Western Europe. Many of the meals we ate were around $5, and included multiple courses. Like Prague, beer was cheaper than water (unfortunately for me). If you ordered water, you were given a tiny glass bottle of water, which if you know me, could get very expensive, even in Budapest, given the amount that I drink. The public transportation was quite good; the metro ran about every 4 minutes, so not much waiting. It took a little getting used to the routes, like with any city. The city was, for the most part, clean and well kept (near the center at least). There were many things to see and do there, surprisingly. Maybe it was just the pace we were moving, but I think staying a couple more days wouldn't have hurt, especially since we never even made it to the thermal baths. 


It was however, easy to see why people generally choose Prague over Budapest. Prague has really grown their tourist industry since the fall of the Iron Curtain. Budapest seems to just now be hopping onto that train. Most signs, public announcements, etc, were only in Hungarian, which is not exactly the up and coming language in the world.  I would expect that in a smaller town, but I thought in the capital English would be more present. Also, there wasn’t great signage. We spent almost two hours looking for the castle area, because it wasn’t clearly marked on our map, and we couldn’t see signs for it, even though it’s probably the main attraction of Budapest. Once again, these are probably things that wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I was not pregnant. That’s my bad; I overestimated my abilities.

All in all, I think Budapest should make it onto more people’s travel lists. Many people who come to Europe only come to the big 3 (London, Paris, and Rome), but there really are a lot of other gems out there waiting to be seen. There is a certain charm to a place that hasn’t been completely overrun by tourists, and a better opportunity to understand their culture. Paolo actually ranked Budapest as his #2 favorite city, right behind Venice, so that’s high praise. I would like to go back sometime when I’m in better shape to traipse around a city; I think I would appreciate it more that time around. I took some videos while I was there so you can virtually visit and maybe it will inspire a real visit someday!  And also, I apologize for Paolo’s sometimes sideways videotaping, and my sub-par reporting and editing skills, or lack thereof.

There you have it! Let me know if the video doesn't work; I wouldn't be terribly surprised based on my technology skills.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen