Violent American on the Loose

If you see me make this face: RUN!

Have I mentioned that Italian people like to stare? Probably. Usually they stare at someone/something that they find either attractive or odd. Since I’m pregnant, I automatically fall into the odd category here. Since I’m young (ie, below 30), I fall into the “rare as Big Foot” category. So I get stares and also many kind words, such as, “Is she PREGNANT or really fat???” The jig is up Italy. At this point in my language learning, I understand most of what’s being said. Actually 2 months ago I understood that sentence. So shut up. I didn’t let it bother me in the beginning, but I’ve been super hormonal these past couple weeks, and am about to drop-kick the next Italian who whispers loudly in front of me. People should really be afraid of pregnant women; I’m huge and have some built-up rage. That was your warning, people of Italy. Don’t be surprised when you hear I’m in an Italian jail.

ANYWAYS. With having a child comes many important decisions; things I’ve never really thought of in my life. Honestly, I never thought about most child-related things before. I wasn’t the kind of girl who has a baby Pinterest board, I didn’t have baby names chosen by the age of 15 (or 22 actually), and the only reason I know about childcare is because I’m the oldest of four. That being said, I’ve spent more time in the last few months thinking and learning about babies than I have in the rest of my life.

Important Decision #1: Baby Name. For a girl, it would’ve been easier, I think. But finding out he was a boy was a game changer. I didn’t have any boy names even by 20 weeks pregnant. I think that most boy names are so common and overused; I wanted something different, with some meaning. Now, here’s where things got complicated: Paolo and I come from two different cultures, languages, etc. We had to find a name that was pronounced correctly, or close enough to correctly in both languages. May sound stupid, but no one here can say my name correctly. Including Paolo. Granted, I don’t say his name correctly either. Paolo’s choice was Ettore, which is the Italian version of Hector. Not only did I hate the name, but it would’ve been butchered in America. My favorites were Gabriel, Noah, and Rowan. Gabriel was ruined for me once I got here because of a certain person by that name. Noah sounds ridiculous when pronounced by an Italian, and they pronounce the “w” in Rowan like a “v”. So we decided to start from scratch. We finally came up with Alessandro, which is not super rare here, but I never heard of one in the US. I think it’s easy to pronounce, especially if you sing along to Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”, and it’s also a strong name. It’s the Italian version of Alexander, which I think is a strong name, but too popular in the US. So, even though my family doesn’t like it, Alessandro it is. It also has great nickname potential, in my opinion.

His middle name will be James. The story behind that is actually pretty funny. Paolo told me when we first started dating that his middle name was James. I never questioned it, and when I found out we were having a boy, I thought to myself that James would be a good middle name, after his father. However, Paolo then informed me that of course his middle name wasn’t James, it had been a joke, no Italian parents would give this middle name to their baby.. so we thought it had a nice story behind it. So Alessandro James will be his name.

Important Decision #2: Birth plan? I didn’t know this existed before, I thought it was just a process. But now, you have to know what you want, blah, blah, blah.  I also thought that here in Italy, I wouldn’t get an epidural, so I got used to this idea. But then when I found out I could, honestly, I was a little disappointed. When you don’t have the option, you don’t have a choice but to do it naturally. Which somehow makes me feel like more of a woman. Maybe I’m a masochist? After some thought, I’ve decided to do it au natural, however, I am meeting with the anesthesiologist here in order to keep my options open if the pain ends up being unbearable. We’ll see.

Important Decision #3: All the little decisions that you never think of before. Breast-feeding or bottle-feeding? Cloth or regular diapers? Make your own baby food or buy it? Crib or bassinet? The list goes on forever.. so far, most of the things I’ve chosen are surprising to me. I never thought I would be so green as to choose cloth diapers, but the more I looked into it, the more appealing it was. I should save at least $1000, and you know, things like saving the environment. I know I’m in for laudry woes, especially here with no dryer, but we’ll see. Most of these things are personal choices that you make based on work situations, etc., so I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do it.

Important Decision #4: Parenting style. To be honest, I don’t think reading books or things like this can help that much. I think it must be something that just evolves over time. I’m trying to approach motherhood with no preconceived notions or expectations, just the ambition to raise my child to be a respectful, intelligent, and interesting man. Not asking too much, right? Once again, we’ll see. Every child is different, and I think to expect one parenting style to work before he’s even born is ridiculous.

There are a million other decisions that have to be made, but you get the point. And I have no doubt that a million more decisions lie on the horizon that I haven’t even thought of yet. C’est la vie!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen