In America, when we think about Italians, several images come to mind. One is the image of a huge family, eating tons of food, and being really loud. Another is that they are all super stylish, dressing in only the finest clothes at all times. And for women, we have the impression that Italian men are the sexiest in the world, all just waiting to woo us in a gondola.
For sure, these images have some basis in truth, but like most stereotypes, they’re just generalizations. In fact, I’ve seen many not so stylish people here. People do at least get dressed here (no pajamas in public), but not everyone is so elegant. And of course some of the men are beautiful (yes, Paolo, you are included!), but it’s not exactly just one drop dead gorgeous man after another. As for the giant feasts, Paolo claims this is a southern thing, and I’ve never been there, so I don’t know. However, one stereotype that is definitely true is that all Italian women love to give advice. On everything. I experienced it first in December, when I was cooking a huge Thanksgiving dinner. One of Paolo’s roommate’s mom was visiting, and she literally sat in the kitchen watching me cook for hours, giving me advice in Italian. I didn’t speak a word of Italian at the time, and moreover, I think I know a little more than an Italian about cooking roast turkey, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, etc. If it was pasta, ok, give me all the advice you want, but come on. I’m from Alabama, I can school any Italian in soul food.
Anyways, this continued with random women on trains giving me advice when I had a cold, and other stupid things. The Family is an endless supply of advice for me. I should dry my hair immediately after showering to not catch cold, don’t run the air conditioning when you are wet, etc. Now that I’m pregnant, this advice is multiplied by infinity. Everyone wants to offer solutions for my problems; some are helpful, some are ridiculous. Most are fairly old fashioned.
But this is probably because so few people here are even pregnant that they never found new solutions. Or learned anything about modern pregnancy research. I’ve had so many people offer me wine or beer with dinner. In America, no one would offer me drinks, knowing that I was pregnant. Here they’re far more relaxed; when I say, “No thanks, I’m pregnant, I’m not supposed to drink”, they usually wave me off and tell me one won’t hurt.. Then I have to explain that I prefer not to take the risk; it isn’t worth it, and they just look at me like I’m extremely bizarre. In fact, most things that American doctors would tell you not to do or eat, people here don’t care about (drugs aside). I was encouraged by my doctor here to eat sushi, although prosciutto was forbidden. I don’t get it. Raw is raw. And they also don’t care at all about caffeine here; in the land of cappucinos and macchiatos, caffeine restriction is unacceptable.
And there is certainly no one my age is having babies; you should be at least 30. I’m like a modern day leper. It’s hard to blame them though; this is not a society that accomodates babies. You have to have money to have babies, which is why few people have them, and those that do don’t have many. The birth rate in Italy is around 1.2 per couple, which is extremely low. But I guess if you have to pay $13 for one onesie, you think twice about kids. Not only is everything baby related expensive, but it’s hard to find. There’s no Babies’R’Us or anything relatively similar. I was starting to think that poor Alessandro was going to have to be naked for his first six weeks, but yesterday I struck gold by finding out that a local baby clothing store, Prenatal, was actually the outlet version of the original store. I was so happy to find that, because at 75% off, the clothing was finally affordable or at least comparable to baby clothing in the US. If Italy really wants to work on their birth rate, they will make the country more baby-friendly. They’re starting to offer more government benefits for those who have kids, but what they need is more competition in the baby market, and more options for daycare. There are two chains that dominate in Italy (Prenatal and Chicco), and so they can charge as much as they want. This is why people buy such ridiculously expensive strollers here. Partly because it’s somehow a status symbol, but mostly because it’s what’s available. People will shell out $600+ for a Bugaboo simply because there aren’t many options, and certainly no Graco.
So if you want to send some onesies, my address is.. Just kidding! We just have to make it six weeks approximately after his birth, then I’ll be back in the US, with no euro-dollar conversion.
Ciao for now!
Kathleen
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