My Two Cents

As Alessandro is approaching 3 months (yes, really!), I’ve been looking back on pregnancy and I have to say, there’s a lot of things I wish I’d known then. Truth be told, someone probably told me most of these things, I just didn’t listen. There are some things you just have to discover on your own. But I’ll make a list anyways, just in case some of you are wiser than I was. Here we go...

1. ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT.  You can read this a thousand times, but somehow there’s still this vision of how a baby is supposed to be, and if yours doesn’t fit into that, you worry. I was watching other babies yesterday in church, and the babies I saw were definitely more what I was expecting from a newborn. They were quiet, tiny and delicate, sleeping all the time, and just waking up to eat, then going back to sleep. Guess what? Alessandro was never like that. He’s always looked older than he was, and been very alert and awake since Day 1. He sleeps more now during the day (if he’s held) than he did the first few weeks. Moral of the story: Expect nothing.

2. EVERY PARENT IS DIFFERENT. It’s easy to be all judge-y while you’re pregnant; you don’t know what’s coming! If you’d asked me three months ago, I would’ve told you that my baby was sleeping in the crib, end of story. That lasted, oh, until the day he came home from the hospital. At some point during that night, he and I both fell asleep during a feeding, and woke up several hours later. It went on like that for a while, that I would try to get him to sleep in the bassinet, but give in at some point, just to get some sleep. A few weeks ago, I finally realized it wasn’t a bad thing to sleep with this little one; actually it was easier for both of us, and we end up more well-rested in the morning, because we rarely have to fully wake during the night. So, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

3. It’s ok to not be terribly productive. If you spend all your time worrying about housework or errands, you’ll miss sweet moments!!

4. Don’t worry so much about the way your decisions are going to affect baby. As in, don’t feel guilty for letting him sleep in your lap, or the swing, etc. Sometimes it’s just about survival, and you need some sleep too!

5. “You can sleep when they sleep” is a big, fat lie. Well, it may work for some people, but Alessandro wakes up when he hits the bed, so the few times he sleeps without being held, I do work, son.

6. Take parenting books with a grain of salt. Like I said, every baby and parent is different. Crying it out doesn’t work with everyone, and isn’t every parent’s cup of tea. I swore that I would use the Ferber method when I was pregnant, but now I don’t want to. I like soothing him to sleep, and don’t actually think that it’ll affect him long term. Maybe I’m wrong, but he’s just too little and precious for me to leave him in there crying. Not for me.

7. Most things you register for are unnecessary and you might not even use. Registering is so fun and exciting, it’s like a long Christmas list. But so many of the things stores would have you believe are useful are just not. I thought I needed all this stuff for breastfeeding; lanolin, storage bags, etc. I used my lanolin maybe five times, and none of the other things. Except my Boppy, I love that thing. And a pump. But every baby doesn’t need a bouncer, swing, and all that stuff. In fact, I would recommend waiting until you see how your baby is until you buy toys. I bought a bouncer before I left for Italy, and was so excited to use it because I just thought it was going to be a life-saver. He hates the thing. He likes to be violently bounced, and the bouncer just lightly jostles him. So we got a swing a couple weeks ago, and that’s much more his speed. I can actually eat now without holding him. I just ordered a jumperoo, so we’ll see if that makes his cut.

8. Don’t buy too much baby stuff when you’re pregnant. I know, it’s so hard not to. But I’m still getting gifts almost three months later. Definitely don’t buy socks and bibs, people love giving you those. Alessandro could probably wear a different bib every day of the month. (Not that I’m not grateful, guys!) But don’t worry that you won’t have enough of those things.

9. You do need:  a baby carrier (much easier in my opinion than lugging a carseat around), lots of baby pajamas and also some for yourself, a swaddler with velcro, a Boppy, a good stroller, carseat, and plenty of diapers (even if you’re cloth diapering, it’s great to have backup disposables). Everything else can come later.

10. It’s ok to ask for help. I felt like it would all be completely manageable when I was pregnant. I didn’t need any help. WRONG! I’m so glad Paolo’s mom was able to help us right after his birth, and even now, I still need help often! I had to ask my mom to watch Ale last Saturday just so I could run some errands without having to deal with the logistics of carrying him around (still have a 2 door car, clearly wasn’t purchased with a baby in mind). You can’t feel too guilty for these things; yes, it’s your baby, but don’t play the martyr. People like holding your baby. They really don’t mind.

11. Lastly, don’t worry too much about labor and delivery. HA, YEAH RIGHT. But seriously, if you can, try not to. It’s going to happen how it happens. Even if you have this birth plan and all these ideas for how it’s going to go, it probably won’t be that way. In Italy, I didn’t get to choose my doctor, in fact, I never met the doctor that delivered Ale (Dr. Luigi) until I was in the midst of transition. I didn’t really have much idea how things were going to go since there’s not as much information available there and things vary from region to region. But in retrospect, I’m glad for all that, because if I’d pictured myself with a completely perfect birth experience, I would’ve been highly disappointed. Regardless of how messy it was, or missing the epidural, or being without Paolo for most of it, it still happened, and Ale is still perfect and healthy.

So, the basic idea is, don’t worry. And don’t have preconceived notions. It’s all going to play itself out one way or another, regardless of how much you prepare or worry. So obviously the less of that you do, the better. I know it’s kind of in one ear and out the other, but I thought I’d try to share my limited wisdom anyways. I was all about reading baby blogs when I was pregnant, although I obviously didn’t take much to heart.

In other news, Alessandro is still thriving. He’s almost 15 pounds and super active. He makes tons of cute noises and is just so beautiful. He still doesn’t sleep a lot and is super demanding (he wants to be held non-stop). Lucky for him, he’s adorable, so I don’t mind that much.





Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Living the Sweet Life

Since I’ve been home, a lot of people have had a lot of questions for me. My favorite though, is “So, how is motherhood?”  What a loaded question!

It’s hard to sum motherhood up in a few words. Each day it changes into something new and different. In the beginning, and still sometimes, it was simply surreal. Lately, the word that comes to mind is just fantastic, although I have to admit that sometimes it can be frustrating too. But I think the easiest way to sum the whole experience up (so far) is just pure, absolute joy.

That doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. I mean, I’m 22 and living with my parents; my little family is split now as Paolo is studying in San Francisco. But looking into that little baby’s face and knowing I have been given the opportunity to help shape into the best man he can be is just amazing. Watching him learn and grow, even when it’s just him learning to put his fingers into his mouth, is so very sweet.

I never thought much before about what having children would be like; I just saw it as something I would do someday. It’s difficult to truly grasp the way it will feel before it happens. When I was pregnant, I spent a lot of time reading about taking care of babies, what to buy, sleep training, etc., but I wasn’t prepared for the emotional aspect of being a mother. Now I understand the desire to be a stay-at-home mom, or why mothers are overprotective, and especially why everyone told me that little boys are the sweetest. I originally wanted a girl, but now I am so very thankful that he’s a boy; I can’t imagine anything sweeter than that boy’s smile as I walk into the room.





So if you were wondering, yes, I am enjoying motherhood. I will spare you any more cliches and mushy stuff and just assure you that I am overwhelmingly happy with this beautiful little boy.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Blessed Assurance

The past week and a half have been a whirlwind for the Powers family. My grandpa, Ted Powers, whom I and many others considered the heart of our family, passed away on January 27. So it has taken me some time, but this blog post will be a tribute to Grandpa.

I have been fortunate to have all four of my grandparents throughout my life. That also makes the loss that much harder.. Grandpa has actually been sick my whole life, but I don’t want to dwell on that, because that’s not how I saw him.



When I was a little girl, my grandparents lived out in the country on a beautiful piece of land with a pond, hiking trails, and a garden. To a kid, it was paradise. I will always remember my grandpa as being on his tractor, or in his woodshop. Some of my best memories were out in the country. It was there that Grandpa taught me to shoot a gun (BB gun, of course), there that we “helped” him with the garden, there that he set up a tire swing for us, and there that he took us out to “Powers Canyon”. He loved being in the country, but even more, he loved sharing the country with the people he loved.

That’s the kind of guy he was. He loved his family and friends, and thrived on entertaining people. You knew when you went to his house that he was going to try to shake your hand, then pull his hand away. Or that he was going to tell a bunch of corny jokes. But you would laugh, no matter how many times you’d heard them, because of the enthusiasm with which he told the joke. You couldn’t help it.

If you dared to bring up politics or religion, you better not have anywhere to go. Grandpa  watched the news all the time, and knew exactly what he believed and why (for both politics and religion). That being said, if you presented a view that was the same as his, he would take the other side and argue it perfectly, just to be the devil’s advocate. Of course, I knew that if he started proclaiming his love for Obama, he was lying. But sometime, he could really have you convinced he believed the opposite, at least until you saw the twinkle in his eye and heard his booming laugh, as he realized he’d gotten another one.


I can see a lot of my Grandpa’s different traits in my dad and uncles, and even in us, the grandkids. The sense of humor, the stubbornness, the talkativeness, the hard-working attitude. But the one that had the biggest impact on my entire family was his heart. I don’t mean his physical heart, because it was very sick. But for what his physical heart was lacking, he made up for in spiritual heart. He really loved people. He loved my grandma so very much. They have been married almost 53 years, and seem more in love all the time, which doesn’t happen much anymore. He loved his sons, and was so proud of them. He loved everyone in the family, and seemed to have a special relationship with everyone. But he loved God first and foremost, and didn’t mind telling everyone he met. I have never known someone who talked so easily about going to heaven. He knew he was going there, and so did everyone else. That’s one of the things that has comforted us in the last week. He’s finally where he wanted to  be for so long. He’s free of pain and now has a fully-functioning body. It feels a bit selfish to want him to still be here.



Sometimes, when something like this happens, we think first of ourselves. I hadn’t gotten to see Grandpa yet since returning to the US, and Alessandro had never met him. This was of course one of my first thoughts. I thought somehow that if they had met, it would make Grandpa happy enough to pull through his current battle. But now I realize that the current battle was just one of many, and more than just being ready, he wanted to go. I will miss him so very much, but he will live on. He lived his life in a way that created a legacy; through his sons, through his interactions, and through his faith. Alessandro may not have met him, but he will hear about him. Maybe we’ll start with the story of Baby Check-up...



Ciao for now,

Kathleen