I have a lovely child. He is beautiful, so very smart (he's learning 3 languages!!!), and generally, sweet. But over the past few months, he has been transforming into a monster, and I don't know what to do about it. Now, I'm sure I'm exaggerating a bit since I have been on the front lines of a battle all morning, so it is probably not quite as bad as I'm painting it. But it is.
Alessandro has always been headstrong; I'm ok with that, because I am/was as well. But starting about in August, he has become increasingly difficult. At first, I blamed it on his surgery. Then there was, you know, that move overseas. He was given some deserved leeway for that. By the end of October, we were ready for Ale to start back in school, because surely that was the reason for his disobedience and spoiled behavior. Now he has been in school about 7 weeks, is adjusted (and likes!) Germany, and no traces of ear infections or swollen tonsils. No excuses, but he has transformed into an absolute hellion. If he doesn't get his way (which is usually), he throws himself literally onto the floor and screams. Or he knocks down or throws whatever is closest to him. Including my phone. He is the king of public meltdowns, which often leads to a mommy meltdown. So we're at a Britney Spears shaving her head level of crazy basically every day in our house.
Sure, we discipline him. We have tried everything; timeout, spanking, distraction, rewarding good behavior, etc. While some of those things stop him from the current behavior, nothing teaches him not to do it again, it seems. Every morning we have the same battle over him coming to me when I call, over putting his coat on, over sitting in the stroller. Every. Single. Morning. And every morning we leave the house with him screaming over whatever punishment I chose for his behavior, even if it was just me making him sit still while I give him a speech about listening.
If you don't know me well, then you may not know this because I work hard to control myself, but I have a very quick temper. My family is all nodding their heads in agreement as they read this. In the past few months, I have been adjusting not only to a new country, but also to being married. Add a tempermental two year old, and that's a dangerous cocktail. I feel that I have reached new levels of patience and self-control, but I'm in need some relief from these tantrums.
I feel inadequate to deal with this. I feel as though I'm failing my child that I can't teach him to behave like a decent human. I see all these robot German babies just sitting calmly in their strollers. Yes, they look boring, but at least they're QUIET. Then I look down in my stroller, and Ale is throwing things or stretched out, screaming. Or if I'm really lucky, he's doing both. What am I doing wrong? This is not a rhetorical question, any advice is appreciated.
Let me reiterate: I love my son. Even in these hard times, he is sweet more often than not. It just seems as though he's getting worse all the time and I want to nip it in the bud while I can. If that's even possible.
Ciao for now,
Kathleen
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