The Tale of the Grinch's Mom

I had intended today to write a nice post about our experiences lately and all, but after the morning we had, I'm just going to lay it all out there. This blog is somewhat of a diary for me; I don't actually keep a diary because I don't have the discipline, so today is going to be a feelings post.

I have a lovely child. He is beautiful, so very smart (he's learning 3 languages!!!), and generally, sweet. But over the past few months, he has been transforming into a monster, and I don't know what to do about it. Now, I'm sure I'm exaggerating a bit since I have been on the front lines of a battle all morning, so it is probably not quite as bad as I'm painting it. But it is. 

Alessandro has always been headstrong; I'm ok with that, because I am/was as well. But starting about in August, he has become increasingly difficult. At first, I blamed it on his surgery. Then there was, you know, that move overseas. He was given some deserved leeway for that. By the end of October, we were ready for Ale to start back in school, because surely that was the reason for his disobedience and spoiled behavior. Now he has been in school about 7 weeks, is adjusted (and likes!) Germany, and no traces of ear infections or swollen tonsils. No excuses, but he has transformed into an absolute hellion. If he doesn't get his way (which is usually), he throws himself literally onto the floor and screams. Or he knocks down or throws whatever is closest to him. Including my phone. He is the king of public meltdowns, which often leads to a mommy meltdown. So we're at a Britney Spears shaving her head level of crazy basically every day in our house. 

Sure, we discipline him. We have tried everything; timeout, spanking, distraction, rewarding good behavior, etc. While some of those things stop him from the current behavior, nothing teaches him  not to do it again, it seems. Every morning we have the same battle over him coming to me when I call, over putting his coat on, over sitting in the stroller. Every. Single. Morning. And every morning we leave the house with him screaming over whatever punishment I chose for his behavior, even if it was just me making him sit still while I give him a speech about listening. 

If you don't know me well, then you may not know this because I work hard to control myself, but I have a very quick temper. My family is all nodding their heads in agreement as they read this. In the past few months, I have been adjusting not only to a new country, but also to being married. Add a tempermental two year old, and that's a dangerous cocktail. I feel that I have reached new levels of patience and self-control, but I'm in need some relief from these tantrums. 

I feel inadequate to deal with this. I feel as though I'm failing my child that I can't teach him to behave like a decent human. I see all these robot German babies just sitting calmly in their strollers. Yes, they look boring, but at least they're QUIET. Then I look down in my stroller, and Ale is throwing things or stretched out, screaming. Or if I'm really lucky, he's doing both. What am I doing wrong? This is not a rhetorical question, any advice is appreciated.

Let me reiterate: I love my son. Even in these hard times, he is sweet more often than not. It just seems as though he's getting worse all the time and I want to nip it in the bud while I can. If that's even possible. 

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

So, we have been in Germany now for almost 2 months. It has not been the smoothest of transitions, not going to lie. So I'm goint to give you a brief summary of the past two months, catagorized as good, bad, and ugly, but since it's Thanksgiving, I'll do it in reverse, so we can end on a happy/thankful note. Here we go:

THE UGLY

1. The most awful thing by far has been our lack of Internet. We made the assumption that since we were living in University housing, that we would have Internet. WRONG! As soon as we found out that we did not, and would have to do a separate contract, we did so (October 9). We are still internet-less. I am currently in the university computer lab, where I go when Ale is in school to apply for jobs, since I can't do so at home. This company, Vodafone, has become the bane of my existence. They have made mistakes since the beginning, and will not own up to any of them. Americans, hold your customer service reps tightly and never let go. Here in Europe they don't give a rip, and the systems are so confusing that there's no accountability. I have been hung up on for nothing, and was last week kicked out of the store simply for stating that the way they do things is stupid and that they have poor customer service. The rep had asked me to call again the service line (which is all in German, btw) because supposedly he could do nothing for me. I told him I had already called 100 times, and it still wasn't fixed. He said, and I quote, "Well, then I guess you'll call 101 times." So you can't blame me for going all crazy white girl on him. But I digress.

2. The second awful thing that happened was with our apartment. If you read my last post, you recall that I was concerned about the cleanliness. Well, the day we moved in, we were shocked to find no furniture! There was an old table and a mattress on the ground, but that hardly counts. The caretaker told us that a new bed and table were ordered, and of course I asked about everything else. Here's the thing about Europe: there's no closets here. You must put clothes in wardrobes. I don't know why; it's one of the many mysteries here. So we have all these clothes and stuff, and nowhere to put them, but we're paying for a furnished apartment. Ok, awesome. Anyways, after much to-do, and probably adding to my chance of graying young, we got all brand new furniture, including a washing machine (hallelujah!) courtesy of the University. So this actually turned into a win, but was rough at the time.

THE BAD

1. Because of the afore-mentioned internet problems, job searching/language learning has been almost non-existent. So that's been a source of problem for us.

2. My Macbook went kaput back in October. Took it to the apple store to have it declared dead, but there wasn't a Mac tech on duty. Unreal, these Germans are supposedly efficient? Not in my experience. Anyway, so I need to buy a new computer now, it was on it's last legs anyway, so it was time. There's not much need for  a computer without internet, however. Mostly just bummed about it because all my music and pictures and Rosetta stone are inaccessible currently.

3. Ale started his new school three weeks ago. We decided that even though I wasn't working yet, he needed to be around other kids, because those couple months out of daycare were turning him into a monster. Also, I'm supposed to be learning German and applying for jobs, which are impossible with him around. So he got a place in the university daycare, which is awesome, because we pay student rates (Paolo is technically a student until March), so it's 156 euros a month, or about $195/month. I used to pay $110 a week in AL. HOWEVER. You get what you pay for. Here in Germany, they have an "integration period" for new students. I get it for a few days; the kids need to ease in. Especially since they're speaking all in German. But he did great, he loves it there, etc. So after two weeks, he got sick (just a cold). He had to stay out for 48 hours after his fever broke (seriously?). Then when he came back, his teacher was still not ready for him to stay for the naptime (the final step in the integration). Finally, yesterday, I had to bring out my American aggression and insist that he stay, because he's had absolutely no problems, and oh, by the way, he went to daycare for almost a year. This is not his first rodeo. I feel as though the workers are lazy. There is zero learning going on (the kids are too young), it's just a glorified playtime. The biggest benefit is that it's the only way he'll learn German, so that alone may be worth it.

THE GOOD

By now, you probably think I'm miserable and hating life, but that's actually not the case (every day :) ) There are some great things that have happened too:

1. Germany is actually quite beautiful. It is so much greener and more spacious than the other places I've lived in Europe. We live in a quiet little village right outside of Stuttgart, so the city is still reachable by public transport. There are parks, a nice zoo, and tons of great daytrips around the area. Actually, the location is great for car trips; Paris is a 4 hours drive west, Zurich is a 2 1/2 hour drive south; you get the picture.

2. Consumer goods are quite cheap here. Especially food. A 1000 g jar of Nutella can be found for 4 euros ($5). In the US, a 300g jar of Nutella is $3.50. So Nutella for every meal! No, seriously, there are tons of Aldi-like discount stores here (and actually, Aldi is one of them). One of our reasons for wanting to live here is that cost of living is not bad, and the pay is also decent.

3. People are in general, quite nice. Everyone loves Ale, and smiles at him, which is nice. Most people, especially young people, speak English, so that's a huge difference from France or Italy.

4. There is a Baptist church here. I know for those of you with a baptist church on every corner, that's no big deal, but after living in predominantly Catholic countries (as in, no Protestants), it's a huge deal to have a place to go to church. It's also an English speaking church, with people from everywhere, though predominantly American, attending. So this is great news; the only downside is the distance, which is what it is.

5. Christmas markets start this weekend!! I keep hearing about how wonderful they are, so I'm excited for this. Germans really get into Christmas, which I love!


I could go on; the good in the end, outweighs the bad. Overall, things are going well, we are just waiting to find out our next step (whether Paolo's internship will end in a job). We should know before Christmas, so not too much longer. We're also able to go for two weeks to Italy over the Christmas vacation, so that will be great. If I can't go home, at least I can go to my home away from home.

Hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. I am thankful for a lot this year, but most of all for the fact that Paolo, Ale, and I are finally all together! Even with the difficulties, it's so much better to be together. Now back to your turkeys and sweet potatoes! And btw, we are celebrating Thanksgiving; just on Saturday, so that everyone will be off of work.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Andiamoooo!!

I'm writing en route to the Venice airport; we're headed to Germany finally! It's been a nice two weeks in Italy, but I'm ready to get settled in our new home.

Speaking of our new home; we got an apartment, but I probably didn't mention that Paolo didn't look at it before signing a contract. Rookie mistake. He went to look afterward, and told me it's awful. However, there were 6 people living in this 50 square meter, 1 bedroom apartment. He reported it to the landlord ( the condition, not the people) and they promised to do renovations before we move in. My expectations have been set very low, so hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised.

Many people asked me before I left the US if I was scared to move here. I find that to be a strange question in general. It's actually quite a rush; I get to come to a whole new place with the people I love and start a new adventure! What a privilege! I feel so blessed that I have been able to have so many adventures over the past few years; the US will always be home, but I enjoy taking little pieces from everywhere I live, and learning new things all the time. It's not that one place is better than another, but there is good and bad to each culture, and I can take away what I want to.

Above all, I trust that God will guide me and use each experience for His glory. Even in the times I have been afraid, things have always turned out better than I expected, so there's no reason to fear. The only point where I do feel some apprehension is our job situation. Paolo's job is a 3 month internship; according to the company, he should have a job at the end, but you never know on these things.. I am looking now for a job, but haven't officially received my work permit, and furthermore, don't speak German. There are English speaking jobs available, but most require more experience or a different skill set than I have (engineers, you are welcome in Stuttgart). I'm trying to be patient and trust that it will work out, but sometimes I do worry about that.

Anyways, we are officially off to Germany! Here's to hoping for a nice apartment!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

New beginnings

Life has been crazy lately, blah, blah, blah.. there’s always an excuse for not blogging, but really for me it’s just an inspiration issue. If I don’t feel inspired, I don’t write. So take from that what you will about my last few months.

Anyways, big news!  You may want to sit down, ya’ll. Paolo and I are finally tying the knot! Annnnnddd, Ale and I are moving to Germany with him, where he is starting a new job! So yes, big changes; lots going on right now. Paolo is coming here next week and we are having a civil ceremony, then getting ready for the move, which will be September 17. We will be having a formal ceremony and reception May 3, we just didn’t have time to plan and get everyone here in September. It’s a bit non-traditional, but there’s not been much traditional about our relationship so far!

There is so much to do to get ready for this move, and for dealing with the legalities of marrying a foreigner, as well as getting my permit to stay in Germany. It’s a bit overwhelming, really. I turned in my two weeks notice for work last Friday, and was immediately dismissed, which really upset me for a couple days. But now, I’m honestly (mostly) glad because I really have other things to focus on. On top of everything else, Alessandro is having his tonsils and adenoids removed, as well as tubes put in, tomorrow. We had a pre-op visit yesterday, and it’s going to be a bit more intense than I originally thought, so I’m glad I’ll be here with him during his recovery (so is my mom).

So there’s a brief look into my life right now; prayers would be much appreciated, both for Alessandro and for our next few weeks to go smoothly. The good news for my blog is that I’m about to be an immigrant again, which usually gives me more time, as well as more inspiration. Stay tuned!

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

Still Alive!!

Oh, you thought now that I wasn't an immigrant, I was no longer writing? Actually, I've just been veryyy busy in the past few months. Partly (mostly) because of this crazy toddler running around, but also because I started my big-girl job!

So let me give a quick summary of my last few months since returning from Italy (obviously you want to know since you clicked through to my blog!). After a lovely vacation in Sardinia, I returned to the US. Yes, a trans-continental flight with just me and Ale. It could have been worse, but it wasn't something I would recommend if you can avoid it. Anyways, so after I got back, I continued on my job search. I found and interviewed for a couple things, but they just weren't right for me, so I moved on. I decided it was better to spend a couple more months unemployed than to take a job that made me miserable. Then I was so sure of one job that I applied for that I enrolled Ale in daycare. That subsequently fell through, as the hiring manager decided to retire. Then, when I thought it was all over, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel, and an awesome job fell right into place. I am officially employed with the RJ Young company as an account representative for Cullman and Morgan county. My office is in Madison, but I can work from home, although most of my time is spent out. It's taken some time to get adjusted, both to leaving Ale all day, and to doing a job that requires me to be so self-motivated and outside of my comfort zone. But I'm falling into a groove, and see great potential.

What exactly am I doing? I'm selling document management solutions; ie, software, multi-function devices, and production machines; everything to streamline your workflow. So give me a call if you need anything :) Had to give myself a shameless plug!

Anyways, life has been very busy. Ale is loving his school; he's become such a big boy! He babbles constantly, most of it still not making any sense. He loves Thomas the Train and any and all animals. Paolo was here over Christmas, and we took Ale to the zoo. It was like paradise for him! He's literally been growling ever since (seriously, it's a bit weird).  Oh, and he's getting extremely opinionated. He wants his way, or no way. I now understand where the term "kicking and screaming" comes from: toddlers. But on the plus side (the MAJOR plus side), he's sleeping through the night. This came about suddenly, shortly after his birthday, as I was on a two-night job training conference. It was my first time away, and wouldn't you know, my mom got him to sleep all night by himself??! Somehow, she was more willing than I am to let him cry for a few minutes. So now, I'm getting to sleep ALL NIGHT! It's incredible! If you think your child will never sleep all night long, there is hope!! Although I will admit, I miss snuggling with him. But not being a zombie is working out better for both of us (and probably everyone else who comes in contact with me).

Speaking of sleep, it's time for this mama to go to bed! I hoped that I would get used to waking up early once I was an adult, but that has yet to happen. I so miss sleeping in. Where can I find a job that lets me sleep in late, and make tons of money? ;)

Ciao for now,

Kathleen