There are two things that Italians love to do: talk and eat. Since I already addressed the eating, this time I’ll get to the talking. I really think that an Italian could talk all day to the wall, and not realize the wall wasn’t answering back. Although when they find someone to answer back, it simply doubles the conversation time.
Case in point: today was probably our last day at the beach with sunshine, as rain is forecast for this weekend. Paolo had a friend visiting for the day, so they were talking. I wasn’t really paying attention, because to me, it was naptime. The conversation got heated, which when they’re speaking Italian, sounds to me like a bad breakup, but to them is just friendly conversation. Anyways, I fell asleep and awoke literally two hours later to find myself in the exact same place (thank goodness the sun wasn’t out, I would be a lobster), covered in my drool ( I can’t help it, I drool when I nap), and with them still having the exact same conversation. Ridiculous! As soon as I came to, and realized they were still talking about the European Union, I just got up and went home. They had actually forgotten I was still even there; I could’ve drowned. I just don’t understand how people can possibly talk for so long; obviously they didn’t agree with each other, talking about it doesn’t change that. It’s like when Republicans and Democrats argue about something; nothing is going to change! I’m all for good conversation, after all the Powers family thrives on good conversation, but that was ridiculous. There should be a point when you realize it’s a futile effort. But this is the Italian way. That’s why their meals take so long; it’s not just because there’s a lot of food, it’s because people won’t shut up to eat the food. If anyone brings up politics, the European Union, etc., it’s over. So my advice to you if you want to visit, and eat your dinner while it’s still hot, is to not bring up politics. Just don’t.
In further ridiculousness, I really have to tell about my first Italian Ebay experience. We wanted to buy a trio travel system (stroller, bassinet, and carseat), but here they are veryyyy expensive. There’s a reason Italy’s birth rate is low; no one can afford to buy a stroller (or any other baby items for that matter). When I say expensive, I mean the low end ones start around 300 euros ( approx $400). However, we also wanted a decent one. So we looked on Ebay, found a Chicco travel system that was barely used, and got a great deal on it. It’s obvious that people here are just starting to use Ebay; the sellers and buyers both seem naive. I have been using it since I was 14, and have never had problems. But I realized immediately that this time was going to be strange.
First, the guy emailed me and said he couldn’t possibly send it to the US (as he had shipping at 25 euros), and how should he go about trying to this, followed by another email two minutes later saying that he realized I had an Italian shipping address. Note that no one ever sends emails on ebay. Ebay has a cleverly designed messaging program, to prevent personal emails from being used, but somehow this guy got my address. Then last night when I checked my email, the real kicker came. He told me that he sent the package, but that it had cost him 56 euros to send instead of the 25 that I had already paid, and could we please send extra to make up the difference? WHAT? First of all, how can I magically send this money? The paypal system is perfect for ebay, but it only works when you purchase something; our payment had already been sent and received. You can make personal transfers, but since I have an a US bank account, my bank charges high fees and exchange rates for this, so rather than the extra 30, I would pay around 70. All of that aside, Ebay is a professional selling platform; it’s the seller’s responsibility to know how much they need to list things for to make a profit. If you guess on the shipping cost of something as big as a stroller, you can really get into trouble. Especially when you list overnight shipping as your shipping method on the item listing. He’s lucky that we were only two hours away; if he’d had to ship it to Sicily, it probably would’ve cost him around 200 euros just to ship.
Anyways, so now we’re in this completely awkward situation of dealing with cultural differences. If I was Italian, I would’ve just paid, because I would feel bad for the guy, and try to be neighborly. But I’m American, and have a business mind. In my opinion, it was stupid of him to promise low cost shipping without even checking. Furthermore, it would cost us less to drive there and pick it up than for him to ship it at 56 euros. At 25 for shipping, it was a good deal; at 56, it wasn’t really. But he didn’t even ask; he just sent it, and paid extra to have expedited (which we didn’t ask for). He also threw in a Chicco bathtub “for free”, which had to be sent in a separate box, so that didn’t help the shipping cost. But again, it wasn’t something we asked for, just something he threw in. So basically, on the principle of the matter, I wasn’t paying this extra money. He clearly had no idea what he was doing, and the only way to learn a lesson sometimes is to make a mistake. So Paolo wrote in a very nice way, that no, we wouldn’t pay, and listed the reasons, as well as Ebay’s policy on selling (you can’t increase payment prices after price is agreed upon). In the end, the guy was really understanding and even thanked me for giving him tips, so all’s well that ends well, but still. It was all very typically Italian, in that they seem to kind of consider everything negotiable, and treat it in an old fashioned way. Like the rules are just kind of guidelines, and there’s probably a way around them, and we’re all just friends after all. Like I said, I’ve never had an Ebay seller contact me outside of Ebay before; I almost feel like I should take the guy out for a coffee now that we know each other so well.
I guess I shouldn’t expect much else from a place where many people still grow their own grapes to make homemade wine, or hand out their chicken’s eggs to coworkers. It’s a sense of community, and trust. People leave their stuff out on the beach while they go in for lunch, or even overnight, because, what could happen? It’s really nice in some ways; it’s charming, but I think it also keeps Italy somewhat behind in terms of growth. Internet commerce doesn’t do as well here because people are used to going to certain places to get what they need. Amazon and Ebay, two of my main shopping sources, are very behind here. People don’t use them that much, making prices higher, and making them disadvantageous to me. I always used Amazon because they have free shipping and almost always a better price than anywhere else. This is not true here because not enough people use it, so therefore I won’t use it. I don’t know if it’s possible for Italy to retain its charm and move forward in the world simultaneously; I really hope so. I enjoy the naivety and generally trusting nature of people here; it’s not something I’m used to. In the US, while not everyone may use Ebay, probably most people would think it’s funny for someone to ask for extra money after you already bought something from them. It’s like going to Walmart, buying a TV for $400, and then the company calling you the next day to tell you that they actually need an extra $100 because they put the wrong tag on it. Here, in this context, it didn’t seem so ridiculous, and you almost wanted to help the guy out because he obviously realized his mistake, and didn’t know what he was doing.
Anyways, I know that was too long, it seems the Italians are rubbing off on me. You’ll be lucky if you can get me to shut up when I get back to the US.
Ciao for now!
Kathleen
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