Upside Down

Did you ever have one of those days where one little thing changed, and it turned your world upside down? I can think of two of the top of my head: the day I found out I was pregnant, and the day Paolo found out he got the job here in Germany.  Now that I've somewhat recovered from the latter, I've been thrown for a new loop: I didn't get into university.

Now that may not seem like such a huge deal to you, but to me it's kind of made my life crazy. Firstly, I've never been outright rejected from an educational thing before, so it's kind of humbling me. Secondly, I had all my eggs in that basket. I didn't realize how very limited places there were for international students, and how many people would apply.. only the top 6.7% got in, and most were in university partner schools. Had I known that statistic, I would've found more solid back up plans. Anyways, now my plan is to just keep taking German classes until I either find a job or am fluent enough to work speaking German.

So no big deal right? Nope.. See, we live on the south side of the city, and Paolo works in the north. It's about a 1 hour commute each way for him. So we were trying to find a new apartment somewhere with a better connection for him but still south, so that AJ and I could be close to our school. Well, now that I have no school, AJ also has no school because his daycare was (apparently) only for university students. We have no ties left here in the south, so now we're moving our apartment search north. Which is ok in general, it just means starting back from square one. But then we also have to find a new school for AJ. Ideally, he can go to the little half day school at my school while I am in class, but he's on a waiting list. Not to mention that even for a half day school, he has to have a three week integration period, which means I have to be there, and he can't stay full time (not that he's been in daycare since he was 11 months old or anything). That doesn't work for me because you know, I have class 4 days a week (just upstairs from the daycare). It's so impossible here. It's hard to find a daycare, and then hard to start the daycare. When we find out which area we'll be living in, we can expand the daycare search.

It doesn't help either of these things that AJ and I were planning to fly to Italy in two weeks and stay the whole month of August (we are both on summer vacation then). Sounds like a lovely time, but if we come back homeless and school-less, I bet that'll be kind of a damper on things.

These transition times are always hard; we always manage to get through them, but so many things have to fall into place in order to make it work. I keep hoping these uncertain times will be fewer and farther in between, but I guess that's just life. It always works out in the end, so I'll just keep on keeping on. At least today the kindergarten AJ is in now showed some mercy on me, and told me he could stay through the end of September while we're still living in this side of town. That's a huge relief; we have one more month to search for a daycare. We have three houses to look at this weekend. Who knows, maybe one will be "the one". Now here's for hoping that when we find "the one", the owners choose us. Yes, the housing market is so competitive here, you must be chosen. No room for negotiation at all, you just hope and pray you're the lucky one that gets to pay for that overpriced small space.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Ciao for now,

Kathleen

9 Month Progress Report

Hallo everyone!! It's been a busy couple of months! We are now AW, otherwise known as "after-wedding" in my family. It was lovely, really a perfect day; we are so thankful to everyone who celebrated with us both in body and in spirit. I will devote a whole post to wedding details when my pictures get here (the disc is in the mail now!). But today, I'll just give a little life update and check-in.

I realized today that tomorrow marks 9 months of us living in Germany! I can't believe how fast time has gone by! This is the longest I've ever lived abroad, and the experience has been unlike any other moving experience I've had (and there's been a lot). What makes this one so different? Well, firstly, it's not a temporary move. When I left Cullman, I knew I would be in Auburn for four years. Since then, life has basically been a period of moves with a deadline or goal in mind. Now I just know that we're here at least until April 2018. However, by then, we hope to be somewhat settled here, with both of us working and such, so who knows how long we'll be here. Am I crazy to be ok with that?

When we first came to Germany, I really wasn't sure what we were getting into. Out of all the places I've visited, Germany was not one of them, and I didn't know a word of German. The first 3-4 months were hard; I had no idea what I was going to do, and we weren't even sure if Paolo's internship would result in a job, so I didn't even start trying to integrate. Once we knew it was a go, our attitudes definitely changed. That was when I started my German courses, and really trying to get to know the area and make friends. Fast forward six months, and I'm understanding a lot, and speaking enough to get by. It's not an overnight thing, but 16 hours a week is no joke. And I have made lots of lovely new friends in my class.

One of the first questions friends/family from home always ask when they see or talk to me is "how are you liking Germany?" It was hard to answer the first few months; it's really always a hard question. People asked me the same in Italy, but it's always hard to say because my circumstances have always been a bit weird. If you go to Italy to study abroad, you're probably going to have a much different experience than me, who went there to try to learn some of the language and culture before giving birth to a half-Italian. Not that I don't love it there; in fact, having my family-in-law there is awesome; I get to experience the real Italy, not the tourist Italy. It's just different. So back to Germany. Now that I've gotten over the initial shock, and had some time to settle in, I actually kind of love it. I'm not saying that Germany is perfect, but it is definitely a functioning society. People are so kind here; Paolo lost his bus pass yesterday, and today someone messaged him on Facebook that they had found it. I'm not saying that doesn't happen other places, but it seems like the normal standard here. People pick up litter as they see it laying on the street, no joke. People don't try to take advantage of the system; they seem to realize that the only reason the system works is that everyone plays by the rules. For example, the public transport here is great. It is on the expensive side of what I've seen (80 euros/month or $88), but everyone buys a ticket. When the controllers check on the subway and someone doesn't have a ticket, everyone gives them a really dirty look. In Italy or France (the only other places I've had much public transport experience), everyone just got off the train/bus whenever they saw controllers getting on. And the transport companies were always late or on strike. Here, everyone pays, and everything works on time.

Although we are settling in, we're still having some struggles. Right now we're searching for a new apartment (ours is 1 bedroom and approx. 450 sq. feet.), which is very difficult. It's hard to find the perfect location because of course neither of us wants a long commute, but we want somewhere quiet and green like we have now. And since I'm still not working, of course we must stay on a budget (which is hard here).  After some flip-flopping, I've decided I really want to get my master's instead of going straight to work. So now I'm enduring an agonizing wait to see if I got into the program. If I don't, I have to resort to Plan B, which is about 6 more months of German classes until I'm good enough to work. Reallyyyyy hoping for Plan A (although I'll still do more German classes either way).

Sidenote for all the people out there who like to criticize foreigners for not speaking English ("we speak English in this country"): try to have mercy and be kind to people. You don't know their situation or how long they've been somewhere. Of course if it's been 20 years, go ahead and judge, but it is difficult to learn a new language. Not to mention all the other difficult things to adjust to when you move to a new country. I am fortunate in that most people here speak at least some English, but there a lot of people here that don't speak German or English, and I think it's much harder for them. I am not saying that it's ok to move somewhere and not bother learning a language; I'm just saying it's not an immediate thing. Have mercy.

No comment on all these crazy political posts I've seen on Facebook lately other than to try to look at the bigger picture on things. There are so many really important or horrific things happening in the world, imagine if we spent all that time and energy dealing with those issues?

So with that, ciao for now!


Kathleen